Looking inward can help you find your true self

THERE is an age-old question which lingers longer, unanswered by the Sanskrit and crossing every religion. And today Michelle from Bloemfontein asks it: “What can you do when you feel like you have lost a sense of who you are as a person?”

Do you feel disconnected from yourself, Michelle? Maybe you are associating yourself too much with someone who is no longer in your life.

Perhaps you’ve overidentified with one part of yourself on social media, which you now avoid and find hard to reconnect with.

I wonder what triggered you to ask this.

Most people get a sense of themselves by looking in mirrors.

Have you noticed the surprise when a baby discovers itself when looking in a mirror? People also decide who they are, based on the feedback they get.

As children, we are rewarded or scolded for good or poor behaviour with feedback from people and we grow dependent on it.

What are people saying about you now? Are you rejecting it and need a new point of reference to decide if it is true?

We first discover our identity in the teenage years. When we enter relationships we can easily become who our partners want us to be.

We get a warped sense of self when social media lures us into believing we are only one highlighted aspect of ourselves.

Life has many cycles and at each milestone, we ask the same question that you are asking now. For example: I am Adelé Pretorius until I get married and then I am Adelé Green. When I have a baby, I become a mother.

And if I get a divorce, then again, I have to decide who I accept myself to be.

Break away from the roles you play and look deeper – this reflective inter nal space is where you will grow a strong sense of self.

You are what you think and feel you are. You are not the thoughts and feelings them- selves because thoughts and feelings are impermanent.

Your consciousness is an expression of your soul, which is hosted by your body. Your personality comprises your actions and attributes, which you accept as part of who you are when you accept feedback of how others see you.

If you listen to Beethoven’s music, you observe the energy behind the intention of his thoughts as he composed it.

His music captures the consciousness of Beethoven and we get a glimpse of him. Like Beethoven, you are more than I can put into words, including a spark of life’s creative force. You are both powerful and weak.

The Bible tells us that the fruit of the tree gives us an answer.

Our thoughts reflect our being like the lemons from a lemon tree.

Your actions produce the evidence you seek.

Is the answer to who you really are in what you choose to do next?

The past is over and the future has not yet begun. But the present holds the gift of choice. Choose how to relate to yourself. Tell yourself the story of your life, but remember, this is about you.

Never can it capture your magnificence.

It might lead your imagination into believing anything is possible.

Right now, you are the person reading these words, and your common sense either accepts or rejects it. Your choices define you.

Adelé Green is a Transformation Specialist Coach and the International Author of Can You See Me Naked. Send your question by visiting www. adele-green.com/askadele/ You can hear her on #360Brunch at noon on Sundays on Mix93.8FM.