Covid-19 and your sex life
Lockdown togetherness can increase intimacy and virtual virtuosity can extend to the bedroom, writes Karishma Dipa
THE Covid-19 pandemic might have wreaked havoc on almost every aspect of life but for some couples, the global health crisis has been an opportunity to reignite the flames in the bedroom.
This is as partners are spending more time together than ever before as they remain in lockdown and are looking for new and exciting ways to de-stress during these unprecedented times.
Research published in US magazine Psychology Today this month revealed that the sales of lingerie in America spiked from around March, when the country went into lockdown.
The publication said that the sales of sexy female garments soared to levels similar to those experienced around Valentine’s Day each year. It argued that as women can no longer dress up and go out, they are now dressing up and staying in.
“As Covid-related life disruptions continue, lingerie somehow feels comforting,” National Purchase Diary Panel analyst Todd Mick was quoted in the publication as saying.
But while the sales of lingerie and sexy undergarments during the South African lockdown are not yet known, local clinical sexologist and couples therapist Marlene Wasserman, known as Dr Eve, explained that some of her female clients had found the countrywide shutdown sexually liberating.
“During lockdown levels 4 and 5, many people were only seeing each other through a screen and this has made many women feel safer than ever before,” she told The Saturday Star.
“Many of them feel like they can now fully express their sexuality online because there’s a screen which provides them with safety in a way.
“Some of these women have said that they enjoyed putting on lingerie, dressing up for their partners on the other side of the screen and just being creative in expressing their bodies.
“They have felt so comfortable doing so virtually because they feel like they’re in control of the situation, they feel safer and can just disconnect when they no longer want to engage online.”
Wasserman believes that even those couples who have been confined under the same roof for the past few months now have the time to become more intimate.
“Those who live together have had an incredible opportunity to really know each other and to get into a much deeper space.”
She added that the coronavirus lockdown could even benefit new relationships and those who are getting to know each other over texts.
“What we are seeing is that these conversations have gone deeper than just asking for intimate images – they are now connecting on a deeper level and asking each other about their current anxieties related to Covid-19.
“There is fantastic possibility for intimacy and not just superficiality.”
Meanwhile, Dr Elna Rudolph, a medical doctor, sexologist and clinical head of My Sexual Health, the country’s biggest multidisciplinary team of sexual health providers, agreed that the global health crisis could be the ideal time for couples to invest in their sex lives.
“Some are not affected by the pandemic in a purely negative manner because they have the luxury of being at home, still earning an income, having a partner who is willing, and the time and money to invest in pleasure.
“We also think that people who used to spend their money on travelling are now spending it on themselves, and investing in better sex is one way to do so,” Rudolph said.
She added that the My Sexual Health Shop had witnessed a spike in sales of sexual health-related products such as the highest grade silicone lubricants, high-end penis pumps, libido enhancers and vaginal dilators.
“These products are selling better than ever before,” she said.
Despite more time and an increasing desire to experiment in the bedroom, not everyone is in the mood.
“Stress is a killer of sex drive,” sexologist Dr Stephen de Wit said.
“Somewhere along the way we were taught that more sex, orgasms and time having sex was better, but that is not the case.
“It’s okay to have periods of time, especially when stressed, when sex is not a priority,” he said.
Wasserman added that each individual is different and that their sexual needs vary in different circumstances.
“Some people are seeking out sexual activity with their partner in order to soothe, comfort and lower anxiety during this pandemic, while for others, the idea of being sexual is so anxiety-evoking and adds to the stresses they are experiencing during the lockdown.”
Rudolph echoed these sentiments and added that international research had shown that many people are in fact, having less sex than before the pandemic.
“Some don’t have access to casual partners, some are afraid to have sex because they are high risk themselves or their partner is high risk, like health workers.
“Some use more sex to relieve stress, some are too stressed to have sex.
“Some became anxious or depressed due to this, which can cause low libido, anorgasmia and erectile dysfunction.
“It just depends on how you are handling the pandemic.”
Many feel they can now fully express their sexuality online Marlene Wasserman
CLINICAL SEXOLOGIST