In Touch With...

“It is like he has a storage of these sharp lines.” “He showers no less than three times a day!”

Hola, Kwetsa, welcome to our ‘In Touch With…’ page. We’re not going to talk about your time here at Soccer Laduma where it all started for you, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, I had a great time as one of the ‘cows’ in the team, ha, ha, ha. Let me try make your readers laugh a bit. I have, obviously, not been at Bidvest Wits long enough, but there are a few funny stories to share already. One of the funniest characters here is definitely our Scottish striker, Simon Murray. He’s absolutely crazy and he’s learning new words every day so that he can fit in with everyone in the team. Unfortunately, whenever that happens (learning new words), someone is bound to come across some unprintable words, ha, ha, ha. That’s exactly what’s happening with Simon now because the guys, especially the Coloured teammates, are teaching him swear words and it becomes so funny when he goes around saying them to everyone, without realising they are actually swear words, ha, ha, ha. The good thing is that everyone just laughs at him and then try to explain the real meaning of the words and then teach him the right ones.

Ha, ha, ha, poor Simon.

He’s a funny character that one. He will always come to training wearing a pair of shorts but, to our surprise, he will be wearing a hoodie and that just doesn’t make sense at all. It gets so confusing because it is like he’s getting hot and cold. I haveh asked k d him,hi a couple l of f times,ti why h he’s dressing like that and he said his skin burns easily, so he doesn’t want to burn in the sun, hence the hoodie. But that still doesn’t make sense to me because he should cover the whole body if that’s the case. I mean, shorts and hoodies don’t mix well, at all. It looks like his upper body is experiencing one weather condition while the lower body is in a completely different atmosphere altogether, ha, ha, ha.

True.

We also have Buhle Mkhwanazi who is another crazy character in the team. He is the life of our changing room, making jokes and getting tti everyone tot laugh.lh PeoplePl might i ht think he’s quiet and shy, from a distance, until they get to meet him. The guy is so full of energy. The other characters who surprise me a lot are Deon Hotto and Vuyo Mere, as they speak fluent Afrikaans. I didn’t expect that and they always call me ‘Mr Comitis’ because I came from Cape Town City, where I was employed by John Comitis, before joining them, ha, ha, ha. They will be like, “Hey, Mr Comitis, hoe gaan dit (how are you doing)?” I like the fact that there’s a lot of togetherness in the camp, especially because of these crazy characters. There’s also a ‘naughty corner’ group that always sits at the back of the bus whenever we’re travelling. That’s where you’ll find Gabadinho Mhango, Lehlohonolo Majoro, Thabang Monare and a few other guys dancing and singing their lungs out, while also sharing jokes and creating havoc. There’s got to be a story t or twot about b t WitWits coach, h GGavin i Hunt, who is a character of note himself. Ha, ha, ha, eish, coach Huntie is very straightforward hey. He always has a comeback for anyone, especially when players want to chirp him. I remember when we were talking about next season’s playing kit and people were sharing their views and all that stuff. Granwald Scott asked, “Coach, what number do you think I should wear next season?” True to his form, the coach just looked at him, shook his head and said, “That’s if you’re still going to be here!” Ha, ha, ha, eish, we couldn’t stop laughing, man, because no one saw that one coming. That’s coach Gavin for you and, like I said, he always has something to say back, it doesn’t matter who you are. It is like he has a storage of these sharp lines that he throws back at everyone. It has been really fun working with him because of his straightforward approach, but he’s equally funny. You know when the Soweto Derby is approaching, a lot of media guys will ask other coaches’ opinions on the derby and all that. So we had a media open day and one journalist asked coach Gavin about the Soweto Derby and he couldn’t even finish his question before the coach dismissed him. “No, no, no, Chiefs and Pirates have got nothing to do with me,” he said, before walking away, ha, ha, ha. I was so surprised and shocked, but it was a really funny moment. That’s coach Gavin for you. The man is an absolute fun to work with and people don’t actually realise what a funny and crazy character he is. He comes across as a very serious person, but he’s actually a lot of fun to be around, ha, ha, ha. My brother, I have to tell you something about Robyn Johannes, I just can’t finish this ‘In Touch’ without sharing it, ha, ha, ha.

We’re all ears and hope Robinho won’t kill you, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, I want everyone to know this about Robyn. This guy, man, he showers no less than three times a day! Sometimes he takes four showers a day and that’s just too much for a man. It is like he takes a shower after everything he does, ha, ha, ha. In the morning, he will take a shower, go to training and take a shower after training. He will get home and spend about an hour or so, then you’ll hear him saying he is going to take a shower. If he decides to go to the mall, he will then take a shower before and he’s still going to shower before going to bed, ha, ha, ha. I really don’t know what’s wrong with this guy because he’s wasting water which is very scarce. He spends more time in the shower than anywhere else! Ha, ha, ha, Kwetsa, thanks for your time. Let’s hold it there for now. Talk again next week! Ha, ha, ha, sure, you’re welcome, my boy.