In Touch With...

Festival, welcome back. Let’s get Part Four of your ‘In Touch With…’ underway.

Ha, ha, ha, eish, yazi (you know) I’m thinking about these stories now and I know I’m going to get into trouble with iNduna (Siyabonga Sangweni) for everything I’ve said because he takes things too seriously. You know that guy, let’s say we’re playing 11 v 11 at training, we concede a corner kick, and maybe I say, “Ok, I will mark iNduna”. Obviously, you practise marking and make it as if you’re in a game situation. Let’s say I’m standing in front of him, he will headbutt me before the ball is even played, ha, ha, ha. He’d then tell me, “You said you’re going to mark me, right? Mark me then.” I’m not lying to you, I mean, ask anyone who’s played with that guy and they will tell you. (Thandani) Ntshumayelo used to laugh a lot whenever iNduna did that to me, not knowing his turn would come, ha, ha, ha. INduna would then just stop playing and point at him, saying, “Woza la! Yini ehlekisayo? (Come here! What’s funny?)” He would grab him, give him his share of a head-butt and I would keep quiet because I didn’t want iNduna to come back to give me more, ha, ha, ha. That guy never took a joke at all – he was always serious and focussed.

Ha, ha, ha, that’s Ntsimbi for you.

Ha, ha, ha, exactly. Whether it was a headbutt or a punch, you just felt his power and if you tried to complain, he’d look at you and say, “Ucabanga ngidlala neengane mina (Do you thithinkk I play l with ith kidkids)?”)?” hha, hha, ha. You end up forgetting about your pain and start running away from him, laughing. Ha, ha, ha, you know, let’s say you hear two teammates gossiping about iNduna or even passing a remark in your presence, and then they get on your nerve and you want to use what had happened earlier against them. You go to iNduna to report the guys, thinking he’s going to punish them, ha, ha, ha. That guy, before he deals with them, he first wants to know what your contribution to the conversation was when the guys were gossiping about him, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, good one, Ntsimbi!

Ha, ha, ha, he’s such a character and we all knew better than to try and ‘sell’ anyone to iNduna because you will not be safe. You think he’s going to be on your side because you’re telling him something he didn’t know, kanti (meanwhile) you’re getting yourself into trouble, ha, ha, ha. You say, for example, “EErr, NdNduna, NtNtshumayelohl and d Rooi R i (Mahamutsa) were gossiping about you. They were saying this and that,” and you think he’s going to rush to sort them out and you will have the joy of laughing at them. Trust me it will backfire, ha, ha, ha. “Uma behleba, wena wathini? (When they were gossiping, what did you say?)” would be his question, ha, ha, ha. “Ngiyakuzwa uthi bebang’hleba, wena uye wathini? (I hear you say they were gossiping about me, what did you say?),” ha, ha, ha, and he speaks so slow in deep Zulu that time and he’s got you under his armpit. Once that happens, you’re not going anywhere until he’s done with you, ha, ha, ha. Despite all the punishment he gave us, he was a very good teammate and I must be honest with you, iNduna played a big role in our team back then. No one would ld mess around d iin iNdiNduna’s’ presence and it didn’t matter who you were, the team came first. You do anything wrong, he’d jump at you before anyone else and, just like the other senior players, he always demanded discipline and focus. I think all the senior players played a huge role in our team’s success in that period because they never took nonsense from anyone in the team. You knew better than doing anything that would cost the team in any way.

That’s great to hear. There must be more stories from your memory bank Festival.

Ha, ha, ha, there are still so many more, but they’re too sensitive to share with the public and, like I said, they’d get me into big trouble with some of my current and former teammates.

Ok, no names mentioned, but just the stories will be enough.

Ha, ha, ha, no, my man, the guys would kill me, angekhe (never)! They will know I’m talking about them and, honestly, we always had fun with the guys in the team. We still do even now. I know Rooi, Lucky (Lekgwathi) and iNduna will definitely call me after reading anything I say about them here, although Lucky will just laugh it off. Speaking of Lucky, ha, ha, ha, bra Slaka! What a legend! I remember when we were doing one of the Carling Black Label Cup shoots. Obviously, as our captain, he was the face of the team in that advert and campaign. We went to FNB Stadium after training, for an advert shoot. We get there and get briefed before the cameras started rolling, ha, ha, ha. Just to paint a picture, the shoot was supposed to take three hours, but it took us about eight hours to finish it, ha, ha, ha. Eish, bezibuya ( it was hectic) maan, ha, ha, ha. We were so tired and wanting to go home, but we couldn’t leave until we were done shooting. The T English that was coming out of bra Slaka’s S mouth that day, ha, ha, ha. Ntshumayelo was like, “Hey maan, bra Slaka, wait a minute, we want to go home, man!” Lucky is busy rehearsing his lines and still gets them t wrong, ha, ha, ha. He was so angry at Ntshumayelo for disturbing him so much that he promised to give him a warm ‘high-five’ ha, ha, ha, but we all joked about it.

Ha, ha, ha.

That’s one of the shoots I will never, ever forget, man, because it became a disaster, but we still had fun. We spent eight hours doing the same thing and I think we were also to blame because we kept laughing every time bra Slaka made a mistake and they had to keep re-recording. “Carling Black Label coach, err, coach… hey Bibo wan disturb(a) (you’re disturbing me) maan,” and then he would have to re-do it. Man, that was really funny, and we must have left the stadium after midnight but, funny enough, no one was complaining because the whole shoot was just fun-filled. You know, one of the things I like the most about Lucky is that he would laugh at almost anything said about him. Even if we joked about him, he would just join in laughter and take nothing personal. That makes it difficult to joke about him because your joke doesn’t really have an impact. It is people that get, err… emotional that you enjoy joking about. Even now, I expect a call from him after reading this and you know how quickly he speaks (imitating Lekgwathi), ha, ha, ha, captain my captain. That was so crazy.

On that crazy note, let’s leave it there and thanks so much for another episode of some really crazy stuff.

Ha, ha, ha, sure, my brother.

“It took us about eight hours to finish it.”