KATLEHO LOKE (PART 6)

Welcome to the very last leg of our lengthy conversation tracing your journey in topflight football through a humorous accent. From what you told us about the muti activities at Jomo Cosmos last week, it doesn’t sound like you were in favour of those. Mamela (Listen), remember that you are working with so many people coming from different cultures, different traditions. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, you are working with 30 people. Among those 30 people, let’s say 10 believe that muti works. And then you have 20 that don’t believe that muti works. They just have a bath for the sake of making you happy, you understand what I’m saying? Because the muti is yours, you believe in your muti. Your muti will never work for me. It’s different, my brother. There’s someone who comes from home having used his own things, and when he gets there, he mixes his things with the club’s stuff. So, can you see what’s going to happen there? It becomes a problem and these things are now fighting each other. This one wants to claim victory over the other one. That’s because I come from home, where I used something, and then I go to the club and I have to use something that belongs to someone else, which I don’t believe in. I believe in my own thing.

Fair enough.

So, I think the flop (problem) was there because we were forced to use something we didn’t believe in, and you would do it just for the sake of doing it because we were getting paid and all those things. So, I think that was the downfall of Jomo Cosmos because the muti thing was hectic and people don’t believe in other people’s things. Lungas, you can’t come to my house and see me taking off my shoes before I enter the house, and then you don’t take off your shoes. You understand? There’s going to be a problem. We do visit some houses and you find that the owner of the house, before he enters, he takes off the hat, and then wena ungena ngesgqoko kwakhe (you enter his house wearing a hat)? So, you just follow suit. You just follow whatever that they are doing. If this person takes off his shoes before entering his house, it means I have to take off mine because it’s his house, even though I don’t believe in that. Maybe he’s thinking the shoes will make the house dirty. There’s a reason why you have to take off those shoes! So, even at Cosmos, Bra J (Jomo Sono) believed in his muti and we had to follow suit because it was his team and he was paying us. But even despite all of those things, the results were not coming. You can never pour diesel in a car that uses petrol, ha, ha, ha.

Well, you’ve painted the picture quite clearly around the sensitivities regarding muti belief and non-belief, which should be eye-opening for some people. Let’s move on. Tell us about some of the funny guys that you shared a dressing room with at the club. There was Papi Mngomezulu. What a character from Alexandra! That guy would tell us stories from Alexandra. You know, I even got scared of going to Alexandra after hearing all the stories that Papi told us. He would say, “Ah, wena (you) Scooter, uma ungafika ugqoke lezinto uzigqokile, bayokubona kuqala ukuthi awuhlali la e-Alex. Bayokubamba inkunzi, babone ukuthi yibhari le (if you could go to Alex dressed like this, the criminals would immediately see that you don’t reside here and they would rob you as they would see that this one is an idiot).” Ha, ha, ha. When you took a good look at how you were dressed, you would ask yourself, ‘What is Papi talking about because I’m dressed nicely? Does he really want to tell me I’m not smartly dressed? No, he just wants me to dress like him, that’s all.’ There were players like “Tshawe”,

Avril Phali, the goalkeeper – he would hit you with tsotsitaal the whole day. He would tell you about how life is, using tsotsitaal. He would tell you, “Hey my broer! Jy verstaan! Ek sal jou slaan, my broer (I will hit you, my

brother).” There were also characters like Bongani Theletsane, as well

as El-Hadji Samb. The latter was always serious, and whenever you were talking to him and then the guys started laughing, hayi isukile (then that was it)! Especially if you were not speaking English. He would make you feel it with his tackles at training. He had a small heart that guy. Once you made a joke about him, you had to know that if you were not in his team at training, uzokushaya nge bhathu (he would tackle you roughly). As for Theletsane, he used to call himself “Lil Wayne” and even had a tattoo

of tear drops. Phela (In fact), there was a time when he went on a fast because Lil Wayne was in prison. He was fasting so that Lil Wayne could come out of jail, ha, ha, ha. You would ask yourself, ‘This guy doesn’t even know this person. He is a millionaire wherever he is, and then this guy is starving himself to death because Lil Wayne is in jail. What’s happening here?’ So, there were so many characters, to such an extent that you could write a book about them. Some were reserved, others were talkative… like myself.

Oh yes, that one about yourself is an obvious one… ha, ha, ha.

I was talking too much all the time, ha, ha, ha. Sometimes I would be in trouble because somebody will come and say, “Loke is the one who said we must do this and that. Loke is the one who said we aren’t training today.” I’m just making an example. Let’s just say somebody didn’t come to training and then maybe Bra J is asking him, “Hey ndoda, why ungazanga ejimini izolo (man, why didn’t you come to training yesterday)?” Then that player would say, “It’s Loke who said we were not training yesterday.” So, all those things fitted in with me because I talk too much, ha, ha, ha. Eish, you are reminding me now… There was a time at Benoni Premier United where I was boasting to my teammates, “You guys haven’t been paid? Bra Dey has just given me R1 000 and tomorrow I’m going home.” Bra Dey was the club’s chairman, Dumisani Ndlovu. That time, I had long asked for permission from the club to go home. Then the following day, when they checked at training, I was not there! I had gone home, but Bra Dey had not given me any money. That was just me trying to make them angry for no reason. Then Bra Dey phoned me and said, “Why are you making me fight with the players? Which money did I give you?” Ha, ha, ha. So, you see, this thing of talking too much sometimes landed me in trouble, but I was unaware at the time. Even if I hadn’t done anything, they would just say, “Scooter said this and that”, and everyone would believe it.

It’s been nice catching up with you, Scooter. Your amazing sense of humour hasn’t changed one bit after all these years. Thank you so much for your time and all the best going forward. Thank you so much for this interview, bro yam. I really appreciate it. You know, from kudala, mina (long ago, me), when it comes to you and Soccer Laduma, I will forever be available to you. I will always make time for you.

Of course, you have to make time for us because Soccer Laduma saved you from being jailed for driving without a licence for so many years. Ha, ha, ha, true, true! Cheers, bro.