Extinguished minds of our distinguished governing elite
Novice cop Riah Phiyega, otherwise known as the head of the police, has been dodging questions at the Marikana Commission of Inquiry.
Under cross-examination she seemed unable to convince the commission that she knows what the constitution is all about. Nor does she understand the command structure of the police.
On Wednesday she was unable to show that she understands what signing a statement under oath means.
Vera suggests next time the lawyers ask her difficult question, she must simply give them a standard and honest answer: “Sorry, I am not a trained cop.”
THE BEST GOVERNORS
Phiyega was, of course, appointed by President Jacob “Chief Giggler” Zuma who once infamously remarked: “I know what I am doing.”
This week he added another missive: “The problem in South Africa is that everyone wants to run the country.”
Okay, Chief Giggler, maybe we should leave the country to you, Phiyega, SABC board
members,
EXTINGUISHED MINDS
Dina “Louboutin” Pule, Mathole Moon Analyst” Motshekga, Humphrey Credit Card Freeloader” Mmemezi, Nkandla compound builders, the the Guptas and others of their ilk.
Like you, they really know what they are doing and are perfectly capable of running the country. The other day Vera was floating at a function organised by the Black Business Executive Circle to honour top business achievers.
Malusi Gigaba, the minister of public enterprises, who moonlights as a selfappointed intellectual, took to the stage to welcome the
distinguished and extinguished guests”.
Vera took time to report on this matter as she sought to verify whether the guests were still alive after the event.
It has since become clear only Gigaba’s mind was, for a moment, extinguished.
NOT GATSHA
OFFENSIVE
IFP leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi, who wears many titles – such as Prince and Inkosi – has lodged a complaint with the Press Ombudsman against Vera’s use of the fake name “Not Gatsha ” when referring to him in previous columns.
Vera sincerely apologises to Buthelezi.
Although she routinely makes fun of politicians, Vera accepts that the fake name is unfairly offensive.
Vera undertakes not to use the derogatory name again in her column. uVera uyaxolisa kuMtnwana wakwaPhindangene
.
Vera s question of the week: What is Cassel Mathale’s job?
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