Gupt-smacked by the joke called the Gupta scandal report
G STANDS FOR GANGSTA
JUST when Vera was getting the hang of the language of text messaging, the ANC throws a curve ball at her.
OMG, what is happening in Mzansi.
It seems President Jacob Zuma’s clan name was just an election campaign name – the name that summoned
all his ancestors to grant him the most powerful position in the land.
How else would you explain his nicknames getting shadier and shadier as his scandals get bigger?
Is JZ not gangster enough? He’s now known as No. 1. The one name that can open doors (or shut them), clear air spaces and break all laws without any repercussions. No. 1, Ke Bosso the big head.
DROP-THE-NAME GAME
BTW, No. 1 is used to name drop. No, not that type of name dropping. Not the kind you mention that you bumped into Paul Mashatile at Woolies or had a drink at Tokyo Sexwale’s wine estate, or that you sat next to Public Enterprises Minister Malusi Gigaba and Home Affairs Minister Naledi Pandor at the Gupta wedding. No, not that kind, it does not pay. Still clueless?
Hint: The Metro police, call it “cooldrink”. The magic word that keeps scoundrels out of jail.
The higher up the government ladder you climb, the more sophisticated the names for corruption get. Name dropping is the new name for corruption.
Can we keep up with the terminology that comes with each Zuma scandal. We got the “shaiks” when the Shaiks language was part of our lexicon, then came the kanga period of our language, now it’s time for the Guptification – not only of our country, but of our language as well.
ALL GUPTA D OUT
Talking about he Guptification of our language, Gwede Mantashe had the tall task of convincing us that No. 1 had nothing to do with Guptagate.
Are we expected to buy this, when – as DA MP David Maynier put it in Parliament on Thursday – Zuma, in his State of the Nation Address, announced that government would “wage a war against corruption” while Atul Gupta was sitting “of all places, in the presidential box”. Talk about our president being Gupta’d.
Vera is Gupt-smacked by the joke of the investigation that followed the Gupta scandal – and even more ridiculous is the report that was supposed to “answer all the questions we might have on what happened at Waterkloof Air Force Base on April 30”.
LAME EXCUSE AWARDS
There were other unbelievable responses by Zuma’s people to questions this week.
Mpumalanga Education MEC Reginah Mhaule blamed winter for the high number of pregnant school girls in her province. Where does the ANC find these people?
And Health MEC Candith Mashego-Dlamini said she could not get involved in the death of 27 boys at initiation schools in her province because of her gender. OMG.
Vera ’ s question of the week: What does ANC stand
for?