Captivating tell-all full of ups, downs
Title: I’m A Different Mess From What I Was Author: Msizi Nkosi Reviewer: Lesley Mofokeng Publisher: Self-published
MSIZI Nkosi weaves a captivating tale as he takes us on a journey through his colourful life from KwaZulu-Natal up to the dangerously seductive city lights of Johannesburg. The title lives up to the contents as we follow him from his humble beginnings to pivotal moments in his life where he spirals out of control. Even as a tertiary dropout, Nkosi manages to crack the tough entertainment and television production world, where he ends up a cocky and self-assured television producer of 3Talk and several other shows with a reckless streak and plays Russian Roulette with his life. It can all be traced back to his upbringing where he started drinking at the tender age of nine and smoked as a pre-teen. The death of his mother presents a turning point as he almost gives up on impressing anyone in his life. Then the family is struck by the suicide of his younger sister, which leaves them shattered.
Nkosi seems to have been dodging bullets all his life. I felt for him and the choices that he made that would change the trajectory of his life. The second chances are encouraging and losing it all makes him such a flawed human.
He is open and touchingly honest with his truth. The confessional includes stories of nights with prostitutes, one of his addictions, along with alcohol.
He bares all about his flings and romances with television stars such as Bonnie Mbuli and he names names which makes for some thrilling gossip.
His relationship with television host Noeleen MaholwanaSangqu, who played something of a mother figure in his life, is complex and a fascinating study of how far one can put up with a renegade son’s bullsh*t. In the end you sympathise with Nkosi because of how it all collapses and he ends up in a hospital bed in a coma.
The role he seems to relish is that of being a father to his girls. Even with his transgressions and nights of carelessness, he shields them from seeing the traffic of many women coming in and out of his life.
There is no doubt that Nkosi is a talented writer, save for a few niggling typos. He is a good storyteller and I enjoyed how he keeps the suspense of his HIV status right to the end.
This book depresses you, uplifts you, breaks your heart, entertains you (especially the part about Matlakala, one of his baby mommas), but above all it is a page turner.
When you put this book down you will either say a prayer for Nkosi or be angry with him – a sign of a job well done on the part of the author. He evokes emotion and pushes you to the edge. Unlike many other readers, it didn’t take me two days to finish the book, but a month.
I found it hard to get into it at first, but as soon as the story gathered pace and momentum with its thrilling episodes, it flowed until the end.
Nkosi has proved himself as a worthy young black writer and I would love to see him deliver a fictional work.
There is no “doubt Nkosi is a talented writer and storyteller