Sowetan

Wise up Thoko, do like Winnie but in a pair of Didizas

- Moruteng tlhe.

WITH the municipal elections around the corner, Vera has found it very difficult to keep apace. Have you seen how the famed well-oiled ANC election machine has been humming away ever so smoothly? Once again, they repeated that old election ritual of wheeling out the beauty who always leaves Vera green with envy – Mama Winnie. Now that’s someone the Creator took his time creating – proof that beauty can never go out of vogue. Even in old age and illness, she pulls it off without visible effort. Speaking of the ANC rolling out the heavyweigh­ts for the ballot wars, Vera couldn’t suppress a chuckle when Thoko Didiza took to the streets in Tshwane. She chose to wear a nondescrip­t pair of sneakers – the no-name type as she pounded the streets of the townships. This sorry state of affairs – had Vera wondering why the mayor wannabe didn’t use her name as politician­s do and make lemonade out of the lemons served to her.

She could get Nike to donate dozens of “Didizas”. That way she would be returning a favour after looters helped themselves to merchandis­e at a Nike store during protests against Didiza’s appointmen­t as ANC mayoral candidate.

Vera hopes Didiza can get Nike to sponsor her sneakers – she could even get them to officially name a design after her.

GOING FOR THE GOGO VOTE

But chances of that happening are slim. From her vantage point Vera realises the madam doesn’t quite have that air of being streetwise about her, judging by the way she dressed as she canvassed.

A lesson from BoAusi ba koPheli, Vlaka and even Marabi, all known for being stylish and streetwise, would not be misplaced there, We can’t have a mayor of the capital looking like the chairwoman of the local gogos’ stokvel.

THE DANCING TRUANT

Speaking of lessons, Vera thinks we must augment the syllabus at our class by the firepool by adding two teaspoons of discipline, seeing our pupil has been bunking class, or is it all this travelling that has ravaged the presidenti­al jet? You see, our man betrayed his truant ways when he told churchmen and party leaders the other day: “You would think the DA is a wonderful organisati­on, it is the only one of all the opposition which has the people who oppressed us.” Now, he should know the ANC swallowed the Nats lock, stock and barrel and even gave Kortbroek a cabinet post. It’s time we added contempora­ry history to our Abet lessons. Remember, we added geography when Namba Wan said: “Africa is bigger than other continents, all continents can fit in Africa.”

Vera also saw why lessons are not going as well as hoped: the number of times Namba Wan did the dab – four times – clearly shows he has no time for his books, what with all the unofficial dance lessons he’s sneaked into his routine.

It’s going to be a long road, dear voters, hold on tight.

 ??  ?? WINNIE MADIKIZELA-MANDELA AND PAUL MASHATILE WHEEL OUT WINNIE A SNEAKING SUSPICION
WINNIE MADIKIZELA-MANDELA AND PAUL MASHATILE WHEEL OUT WINNIE A SNEAKING SUSPICION
 ??  ?? PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA
PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA
 ??  ??
 ?? Write to Vera@sowetan.co.za ??
Write to Vera@sowetan.co.za

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