Childhood lovers to life partners
THE concept of childhood sweethearts is very romantic. Two people who have known each other since childhood, grew up in the same neighbourhood, played together and even went to school together, only to fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?
For most people, the concept of childhood sweethearts is the stuff of romance novels or cheesy romcoms. It is often hard for us to wrap our minds around the notion of being with the same person all your life. Questions like, “Don’t you get bored with each other? Doesn’t the sex get stale after a while? Don’t you feel like you missed out on the fun that comes with dating around?”, are only a few that people ask couples who have been together since childhood.
These two real-life childhood sweetheart couples prove that the fairy tale is real. They let us into how they met, what it’s like to be with the same person since childhood and how they keep the spark ignited, despite being so used to each other.
Joseph and Tintswalo Moabelo: Kempton Park residents.
Branch manager Joseph, 44, and his wife Tintswalo, 41, a retoucher at a publishing house, grew up together in the same neighbourhood, but it was only in high school that sparks started flying.
“We are from the same neighbourhood, attended the same primary school and high school, but I noticed that he started to have an eye on me in 1989 when I joined high school doing my Grade 8, Form 1 at that time,” Tintswalo says. “But I tried to play hard to get. He was a player at that time and I never imagined myself joining the crew to be one of his many girlfriends.”
For his part, Joseph admits to having been a skirt-chaser at the time, but says there was something different about Tintswalo.
“She lived in the neighbouring street and she was my niece’s childhood friend. I started developing an interest in her during the period when she visited my niece. It was around 1989 when I made my first move on her. As for being a player, yes, it’s true. I was at the peak of my teen stage. I just happened to be the centre of attraction with girls from our village at the time,” he says laughing.
“She was totally different from the rest, in that she made it clear to me that she was not interested in my charms and popularity with girls, and that she would only talk to me once I was done being a player.
“I started developing even more interest because, for the first time, I felt challenged. I just had to have her.”
Tintswalo says her parents were initially apprehensive about Joseph. “When we started dating my parents did not approve of our relationship, arguing that he was a player and that it would ruin their relationship with his parents as good neighbours if things went sour. But after he changed his ways, and started to concentrate on me only, it was smooth sailing.”
The couple has officially been together for 25 years now. They got married in 2008, and have 17year-old twins and a four-year-old baby girl. The couple agrees though that being with the same partner for all these years does come with some challenges.
“Since we know each other so well, we also know each other’s flaws. This can be a good or bad thing, depending how you look at it,” Tintswalo says.
Joseph says his biggest challenge is imagining life without her.
“I’m so scared of losing her because after being with one person since childhood, this person becomes your life.”
But how does our couple keep the love alive after so long?
Joseph says it all has to do with spending quality time together.
“We focus most of our time on each other, and we still converse like when we were still dating. We spend minimal time with third parties and we can talk to each other about everything. We are each other’s inspiration. It’s also for this reason that our sex life is kept at a peak because of the confidence we get from each other.”
Nthapeleng and Makgosi Monageng: Lenasia residents.
Nthapeleng and Makgosi, both 34, met in high school in 1999 when they were both 17 years old, and have been together since. For Makgosi, it was love at first sight.
“He charmed the heck out of me. I found him so charming and handsome then, and I still do even now. So when he asked me out, I was still naive and had a playful outlook on relationships, but our love has stood the test of time.”
Nthapeleng says he enjoys the familiarity of being with the same person all these years, and the couple now has a seven-year-old child together. They got married in 2009. Makgosi says she does not feel like she missed out on a glorious dating life because she and her husband have a lot of fun.
“Remember that we were individuals before we were a couple, so we still go out and even go clubbing sometimes. We do not treat our marriage like a prison of sorts. The only thing that we have for each other is a lot of respect. We still ask each other for permission to go out, and we stick to an appropriate curfew,” she says.
Makgosi says she also ensures that their sex life does not get stuck in a rut. “We constantly try different things to spruce things up. I don’t even mind putting on sexy lingerie sometimes and giving him a show. It is how we keep things interesting.”
This strategy clearly works wonders, as the couple says that in the 17 years they have been together, they have not once broken up or even considered leaving each other. “The biggest inspiration for us is our daughter. Children learn from their parents, so we have to set a great example for her.
“We have to be responsible in our actions, and live by the values that we also want her to live by,” says Makgosi.
“I don’t mind putting on sexy lingerie and giving him a show