MY FAMILY WON’T FORGIVE MY CHEATING WIFE

MY WIFE cheated a year ago and my family knew about it. We’ve been trying to rebuild our marriage but they are not accepting her and make it difficult for us to move forward. How can I deal with this?

BOITUMELO replies: Often, the people that you share your problems with during difficulties in your relationship can still be hung up on the past that you left them in when you cried out to them.

They are still left feeling hurt for you. They never got to settle their emotions about your situation, hence the lingering resentment towards your wife.

It’s important and ideal to go back, let them know you have reconciled, are now rebuilding your relationship and would appreciate their support.

MOM replies: It will be difficult for your family to forgive her and forget because they are not under your wife’s seduction spell.

They don’t share the kisses, the hugs and the intimate talks like you. So please, sit your family down and explain to them why you chose to forgive and rebuild. I am 38 years old and interested in a certain lady, but she already has three children from different relationships. I don’t have any.

She told me she wants to settle, which is also what I want at this point in my life. But I am scared it might be a challenge to deal with all the baby daddies involved already! BOITUMELO replies: Unfortunately, it might be impossible to avoid them, unless if they are all not involved in their children’s lives.

Your position is not to outdo them or compete with them as fathers but to reconcile into your lives the intricacies that come with this challenge as part of your relationship.

It’s important to establish the rules together from the onset as to how you will both manage this. In this way, you stay prepared for anything.

MOM replies: Allow me to teach you something my brother: what you think about often manifests and becomes real.

Baby daddies will be problematic if you expect them to be. All relationships encounter challenges. Stand by your woman if you love her. Refrain from putting obstacles in your path.

Should you marry her, culturally you will become the father to those three kids. This gives you recognition and authority in these children’s lives.

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com