GAMES OF HIDE AND SEEK, CAT AND MOUSE
WHERE R U BAE?
THE Khongolose crowd has had the political stage almost all to itself.
So much so that Vera was beginning to worry that the rest of the clowns that make up our political circus must have been kidnapped by aliens.
What, for instance happened to the People’s Bae? Vera is so worried that she even contemplated kidnapping the Bae’s Bae, demanding that he show his face if he wants her released.
Vera thought the drought was almost broken when, from the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a TV screen painted all red. It could only mean one thing: the bae is back!
You should have seen her beating a trail that raised a storm of dust on the office floor – just to get a glimpse of that eye candy!
Her performance would have made Usain Bolt thank his gods she had not taken up sprinting for a career! But her reward when she got to the privileged end of the office was not worth the trouble: all she got was The Shrinking Juju, who makes Vera very jealous with such dramatic weight loss. I mean how does he pull off this weight-loss trick seemingly so effortlessly when Vera has to sweat blood to lose a measly millimetre after the carefree season? Alas, the Bae was nowhere in sight. Nor was the Wannabe Sumo Wrestler, aka Floyd, or the Original Ben 10. So it was Juju all the way. With our formerly-fat-man in top form, Vera knew that what she would miss with her eyes – the absent Bae – she could make up for with a feast for her ears. The foulmouthed Menace from Seshego didn’t disappoint.
OF MICE AND MOUSES
Then the weight-loss king spoke of how some “Mickey Mouses” parties were trying to usurp the great red revolution. Juju, dear, there is no such thing as “mouses”, so you need not worry that they are running around trying to steal your march on the banks.
Repeat after Vera: one mouse, but many mice.
AND THE GONG GOES TO...
Then came the news that some smarty pants has dreamed up the so-called “South African Politician Awards”.
It must have been that fancy website, but Vera was beginning to take them seriously when she realised a few names down the nominees’ list that it was nothing more than a Khongolose gig with the odd invitation tossed in the direction of opposition parties.
The coup de grace came with the nominees for politician of the year – the supposed flagship gong.
I guess MaKhumalo should make some room for it on her “room divider” (township folks will know that one) as her one and only is sure to walk this one!
LET’S PLAY OLD COMRADES
Vera was forced to page through the dictionary the other morning. No, she wasn’t stumped by bumping into Steve of Naturena. She was listening to a wireless interview with the Native Once Known as Jimmy arguing that the constitution was not the enabling document it has been made out to be. Soon after his typically tangled arguments, a fellow known for wearing loud socks of the lime-green/light-red variety called in to correct “Comrade” Jimmy’s errors. Now, that dictionary rendered two definitions that struck Vera: a person who shares in one's activities, occupation, etc.; companion, associate, or friend.
a fellow member of a fraternal group, political party, etc.
Not by any stretch of the imagination can the link between the former premier and the Chap Previously Known as Jimmy be described as comradely.
Or is it a case of Once a Comrade, always …?
The same applies to Namba Wan’s portly poodle – aka Oros – and his crowd, who called a presser and duly went ahead to plant the dagger into the backs of “Comrades” Cyril and Pravin before twisting the handle. With friends like these…