Things to look for before saying ‘I do’

Psychologist Sthembile Mkhize looks at aspects one would need to look into before taking a leap of faith into marriage.

● Your partner’s personality. Sometimes there is a clash of personalities, which doesn’t mean two people individually have horrible personalities, but together they just do not work.

● Their finances. Are they responsible with money? What is their credit score? Can they afford to build a family? Don’t think it is shallow of you to want to know these. A spouse’s bad credit or recklessness with money can make for a miserable existence.

● Do they want to have children? Are they good with kids?

Some people automatically assume that being married means that their partner wants to have children, and it can be a complete shock when they find out that they don’t. This is a conversation to have before even popping the question.

● Their criminal history. Do they have a criminal record? Did they have a stint in jail? If yes, for what crime? Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, so make sure if your partner has some past discrepancies, that they are rehabilitated.

● How do they handle their liquor? This may sound petty, but it is not. Some people turn into a demonised version of themselves when they drink.

● What are their family values? This is not to say that people from broken families do not make for good spouses, but what are their interactions with their parents? Are they respectful? Studies show that people who do not respect their parents are less likely to respect anyone else.

● Are they prone to cheating? Are they renowned cheaters?