Stalking will only cause harm

Rather be your child’s confidant

Are you stalking your teen?

Most parents would probably answer no to that question, but let us examine the evidence:

● Do you follow them around when they go on dates?

● Are you secretly friends with them on social media, pretending to be someone else under a fake profile?

● Do you covertly arrive at their holiday destination to keep an eye on what they get up to?

● Do you have spies in place to report back to you about your teen’s comings and goings?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may be an overprotective parent who has crossed the line to being a stalker.

Do not feel too bad. There are many parents who do it. And because it comes from such a good place, it makes them feel it’s not all bad. But is it right?

“You should stop doing that right now,” says educational psychologist Nombulelo Nzama.

“Contrary to what other parents may believe, stalking your child is actually not in their best interest, and can backfire on you.”

Nzama says that for one, if your teen found out you have been stalking them, and keeping an eye on their regular activities, they will never trust you again.

“There’s no question that teenagers get up to a lot nowadays. But the trick with keeping an eye on them is to not rule with an iron fist, and not to become a stalker.

“The trick is to earn their trust.

“You want to build a level of trust with your child that can see them become comfortable enough to confide in you about issues such as sex and temptation, about being offered alcohol and drugs, and being truthful about where they are at all times,” Nzama says.

“By being a stalker, and eventually and inevitably being busted, you can only push your teen further away.”

Another reason why you should not stalk your child is that you should trust in how you raised them, says Nzama.

“Giving your child a little freedom to explore the world is probably the biggest test of your parenting skills, and whether the values and morals you have instilled in them will be put to practice.

“You do not always have to micro-manage your kids, especially your teenagers, as their biggest life lessons come from making mistakes.”

/ ISTOCK Stalking is generally an ugly activity and if you it on your child it means you don’t trust your parenting skills. And if you get caught, it will create a distance between the two of you.