My love life is dull as my husband is married to computer games

Wife wants his straying man back

My husband is addicted to his computer games and his fun resolves around him playing his games or joining a group of men like him during weekends to play. I have tried various ways to distract or invite him into my passions like going to movies but he is not

interested. I feel neglected in our marriage! What is the best way to solve this.

Boitumelo replies: A lot of people are married to things like gym, church, work, soccer, games etc without realising it. You can see with the level of commitment and sacrifice put into them, and the time and finances used to maintain them.

The other partner is put in a position where they have to compete with those things. It can be worse than cheating because they seem innocent and normal while hurting the relationship.

There must be balance. Competing will exhaust you, so you must just continue with your own interests. Sit with him to agree on things you can do as a couple and also as individuals; things that won’t create competition and tension.

MOM replies:

Be the change you want to see in your relationship. When you first met him, what was he like? Did he just develop this love of computer games?

Learn to play alone. Go to movies by yourself or with friends. Embrace your activities fully without expecting him to be part of them. One day he will wake up and miss being with you. ¦

Tshenkeng is a clinical psychologist. Email her on: tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. Email her on: mandisamahlobo@gmail.com