Born good enough to translate mantash
Horses for courses
It might well have been an unfortunate Freudian slip, but it just all sounded apt to Vera. Our trusted radio man let slip that the ANC spokesman’s other name is Goodenough. Sounds Zimbabwean, if you know what I mean.
Don’t get Vera wrong, she has nothing AGANIST our neighbours from the north – are they still our neighbours when they live here, virtually permanently? Anyway, the revelation put things into perspective somewhat for Vera. His parents or whoever named him must have had a peek into the future and seen the mammoth task that lay ahead.
Just imagine him having to make sense of all the gobbledegook that escapes Gweezy’s mouth, even at press conferences he calls to clarify issues.
Thou shall not mantash
As a spokesman, dear Zizi, you just have to be Goodenough to keep track and hope at the same time that the man won’t mantash on anything he had just said before you unpack it for the masses of our people.
Vera is also happy your other name doesn’t necessarily qualify you as an adherent of the variety of English spoken by your namesake at Orlando Pirates – he of the Five Skippas fame.
Choker in the pack
Oh Badakiwe, Badakiwe! Vera had hoped never again to say a word about our venerable minister or even her sidekick Tshatshalazeni, who has mercifully gone incognito of late. But she just loves the limelight, this Badakiwe. Listening to that audio clip of her being interviewed by a journo, Vera almost choked – Baleka-style – on her expensive enhanced drink.
In his own league
There she was getting all excited – don’t journalists just bring out the vintage Badakiwe? Vera is certain Her Highness was just about to crown that poster boy of women-bashing, Mduduzi Manana, the life honorary president of the women’s league.
His blouse is ready
She probably has taken his measurements already and the blouse should be ready any second now.
Won’t he cut a cute sight in that uniform – which might just be the right tonic needed to get him to lay off his women-bashing hobby.
On the pictorial evidence presented here, the blouse may well be lurking behind those closet doors.
Ceasefire, ladies
That clutch bag reminds Vera of the nasty handbag fight between Somgaga and Queen B. Will you ladies both please pull yourselves towards yourselves before this becomes even uglier? Vera doesn’t like it at all.
Speaking of Somizi, while paging cursorily through the book he allegedly co-authored, Vera spotted an ancient family portrait featuring our cutie. One thing stood out for her, Gogo Mary in the background.
Is it Vera’s eye playing tricks on her or what, but that lady seems to have been born a gogo. Is there a picture of a young-looking version of her? Vera will declare anyone with such a snap an Idols winner for life.
Telling it like it is
With the Acamedic Intelshual Leksha gone, the crowd at the SABC seem to have longed to tell the story as it really is. Someone came with the classic below, telling us what Namba Wan’s ex really is.