How Namba Wan evaded Buffalo’s capture by the balls
Bafana are spoilers
Trust Bafana to spoil a good thing.
Vera was having a good laugh reading up on the Laurel and Hardy antics of a newspaper editor and some fellow regarding an alleged hit – when news of Bafana’s drubbing by the mighty Cape Verde came through.
Our man escaped without as much as a scratch from a hail of bullets that left the car he was driving in with a scratch and a dent on the side.
Who would want to waste a bullet on these two, let alone 21?
Slippery ol’ bull
Never did Vera imagine a week that started like it did – thanks to Steve the Apologist – would end like it did.
This past week was supposed to have seen the hunt for the Buffalo culminate with a coup de grace that would perhaps have seen The Ex served a sumptuous steak with the cubs also tucking in.
As you know, Vera has always worried about the Buffalo. Notice how the cubs, in the form of Duduzane and Edward, have been making all the noises recently, lulling everyone into thinking others other than Buffalo faced the kind of danger that awaited him on Sunday?
Foul play
It all smells of a scheme hatched in a bunker somewhere in the belly of the Nxamalala mountains, with the protagonists sipping Kool Aid from MaKhumalo’s spaza shop.
Did you notice how neatly Namba Wan played his game? He was in faraway China on a Brics visit when a scandal involving Buffalo and a horde of alleged lovers broke.
Chemical warfare
In his mind, he thinks we all shall believe he had nothing to do with Buffalo’s troubles. No, no, no Namba Wan, Vera sees you!
It was a classic case of someone farting on their way out of the lift, leaving the next soul to step in feeling guilty as hell for something they had nothing to do with.
Not bowled over
E-mails, cellphones and social media ... that’s the bane of modern existence. And, teaching old dogs, or is it bulls, like Cyril new tricks is a tall order. The alleged lover on the other end of the e-mail might have tried to sound romantic, but calling this chap a cupcake has almost weaned Vera off that sweet treat. A Cyril Cupcake?
A bullfighter indeed
Vera knows many have accused Buffalo of cowardice and never taking the other bull by the horns, so to speak. Maybe he, too, read too much into this accusation and decided he’d better grow a pair.
Shades of truth
Well, Vera would have believed half of the story were it not for the shady characters, one in shades, who hung the Apologist in court to fight off Buffalo’s ill-advised attempts to gag the newspaper.
Steve, you shall be judged by the company you keep.
Gweezy to the rescue
Ladies and gents, I present: Gweezy, the Preacher.
Vera now understands why the man declared he had no desires to be Buffalo’s running mate for the hot seat. He has found his true calling. Amen to that.
Vera suspects he packs a mean sfutho too, this Gweezy guy – especially in an environment where he would put his talent of speaking in tongues to great use.