Tempted to admire Zim’s snail-pace coup
Ngo nyawo lonwabo
Out of Africa always something new. The world has known putsches since time immemorial. As long as we have rulers, there will be rebels of different levels, some willing to topple those on the throne and wear the crown.
But what we had across the river this week has been something else. First, the coup plotters broadcast their intention, firing off a warning to Grace – which she duly ignored as she was busy drawing up her shopping list for Dubai. She’s not known as the First Shopper for nothing.
A twanging coup
Back to menolopuso, as Tautona Lucas Mangope would call such nefarious activity; Vera couldn’t help but agree with her favourite radipresenter who declared that the putsch was so well organised it seemed it “went to private school”.
Sorry Sebenzile hun, Sis Vera just had to steal that one; it was a beauty.
The ravages of men in fatigues
It had us all enthralled, this slowmotion coup, so much that it even had poor old Vera falling in lust with the baritoned spokesman of the Harare gang that put an end to the disgraceful succession plan of the First Shopper.
For some reason Vera went weakkneed when the fella announced that “Comorade Ara Gee Mugabe is saf and sound”. He said they were only “aganist” the criminals around “Comorade Robart”.
Vat hom Gerrie, vat hom
We can only hope one such criminal has been tied up with extension cords and will be soon sent down south for Oom Gerrie Nel to sink those Bulldog teeth into.
Too much Benoni in her head
Vera is afraid Grace has done us ladies a huge disservice. A touch of sophistication is needed if you’re to keep him on a short leash. It must never be obvious that you’re the one giving the orders. Regardless of how senile the old dog has grown – don’t raise your voice.
Thanks to our Benoni girl, we have posts like this. She has taken us almost all the way back to the Stone Age when they used to drag us by the hair to the cave for a nookie.
Then there was this other meme doing the rounds of how, given the slow-paced power grab, the Disgraceful One managed to grab a few items and made it to the flight in the nick of time. Kushubile.
Watch, and learn
Nkandla will do well to heed and draw the greatest lesson from all this: except for Makhosetive, the rest of the continent has no time for wannabe smallernyana dynasties.
Let’s hope someone’s grand plan to foster The Ex down the people’s throats is now aborted. It is enough that we build them a grand palace in the bundu.
But hold not your breath, they may think they are immune until it is too late. A week ago, Grace thought she had it all sewn up.