FIGHT OF THE FLYWEIGHTS
Harry Joffe expected a hellish journey to the Cayman Islands, but not to do battle with an airport employee
THE Cayman Islands were my destination for a conference. My initial excitement at visiting such an exotic island soon gave way to trepidation, particularly when I saw my travel itinerary — getting there was to be a 30-hour nightmare. I was to go via London overnight, change planes at Heathrow, then cross the Atlantic for a day trip to Miami, and finally a short hop to the islands. All of this on an economy ticket — thank you financial crisis for butchering travel budgets!
I left Johannesburg on Saturday night, and by Sunday night (Miami time) had arrived in Miami, although it was really early on Monday morning South African time. To put it mildly, I was not in a good way when I landed in Miami, and was not quite sure what time of day or night it was. I was starting to talk to myself and longing for a soft bed. I had a short wait at Miami airport before the flight and, given my bad state, I decided to check in early, just in case I fell asleep and missed the flight.
I checked in and handed in my e-ticket and passport. The clerk looked at my ticket and said: “This is for a BA round trip, this is an Air Cayman flight. We have a problem.”
I was too dazed to argue but did manage to get out that my travel agent at the office had booked the whole trip on one eticket and had told me that was all I would need.
The clerk said an e-ticket was fine if it was one airline, but for a change in airline on a round trip, I needed a coupon. She could not give me a boarding pass, even though my travel agent had booked the seat and my name was on the system as having a ticket on the plane.
All my pleas as to the incompetence of my travel agent were in vain, and the clerk kept saying that, although seat 22B was booked in my name, she could not give me a boarding pass.
Well, they say emergency is the mother of invention, and I was facing an emergency — I had to get on that flight, the last one for the day, or I would miss my conference the next day.
I came up with a great plan: I took out my company credit card (which always seems to have more influence than a personal one), and waved it around like a weapon. I said to the clerk: “I will simply buy another ticket.”
She thought for a few seconds and, no doubt starting to enjoy the verbal jousting, said: “Sorry, the plane is full.”
With my back to the wall, I shot back: “Yes, but you have a ticket booked in my name, so I am going to buy back my own ticket!”
She was not giving up so easily. “Sorry, I can’t process your card here, and if I have to take it to our payment section on another floor that’s going to take 30 minutes, and you will miss the final checkin time.” This was her last, but strongest punch, and she clearly thought she had won this battle.
However, I was rolling with the punches.
“Not so fast. If you make me miss the flight, you will have to unload all my luggage which has been pre-loaded from South Africa, and that will take at least an hour. You will save time if you rush to process my card, and get me on this flight, even if you have to delay it a little,” I concluded, knowing I had landed the knock-out blow.
She had no choice but to let me buy back my own ticket, get me on the plane, and delay it by 30 minutes.
I was most proud of myself, having won this great victory. However, that soon dissipated when I had to do the “walk of shame” to my seat, right near the back of the plane, having made the entire plane wait for over half an hour. — Harry Joffe
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