‘He said he wanted to show me that what I’m doing is wrong and I should stop acting like a man’

As part of a series marking Women’s Month, two survivors of corrective rape — purportedly to ‘cure’ lesbians of their sexual orientation — tell Gabi Mbele and Khanyi Ndabeni of the horror of their ordeals and their fear whenever they leave home

CLUTCHING her Bible and wearing her school uniform, Jabulile* slowed down to see who was calling out her name.

It was May 15 1997, a month after her 17th birthday. She was on her way home after Bible study at a church in Naledi, Soweto.

Then she felt the cold barrel of a gun against her back.

“He ordered me to walk slowly and not make a noise or he would shoot me,” said Jabulile, now 33.

“When we reached an open field on Impala Road, he tripped me and I fell. ” He stripped her naked and raped her.

“He said he wanted to show me that what I’m doing is wrong and I should stop acting like a man.

“I pleaded and begged him not to hurt me and even prayed to God to save me. That didn’t help.”

Jabulile did not tell anyone about her ordeal until three months later when a teacher, concerned that her marks had dropped, asked her what was wrong.

She was taken to a doctor, who confirmed she was pregnant. She terminated the pregnancy the following day.

As a result of the rape, Jabulile has twice tried to commit suicide — a few months after the incident and again when she was 21.

Two years later, she had a daughter with a male friend.

“I was so lonely and I was trying to rid myself of being a lesbian,” she said.

She thought having a child might change her sexual orientation. It did not.

She said of her rapist: “He scarred me for life. Sometimes I wish he could have just killed me.” * Not her real name