AUGUST Compulsive shopping reveals deeper problems
It can be triggered by stress and a need to forget troubling thoughts
people can splurge or go into debt once in a while; it is normal.
Occasionally buying a present to lift your spirits does not make you a compulsive shopper. It is a matter of degree. If the pattern repeats itself and the bill gets bigger and bigger, there could be a problem.
Compulsive spenders splurge to feel good and forget troubling thoughts and emotions. But the relief is always only temporary and it may take ever bigger splurges to feel good.
The number of South Africans who cannot control their desire to shop and buy is unknown, but if we are to go by media reports, the percentage is disturbingly high.
The term for it is oniomania and it occurs in all socioeconomic groups and genders, although women are more likely to become compulsive shoppers.
Why? Some researchers believe that men and women react differently to low serotonin levels. Men tend to become more aggressive and risk-taking, whereas women indulge in behaviour such as compulsive shopping and binge-eating.
Money is a common bone of contention in marital disputes. Often, spouses who buy compulsively try to conceal the amount they have spent. When partners discover that money set aside for important matters such as a child’s school fees is gone they feel betrayed and angry.
In some cases, compulsive spending can be so substantial that it leads to bankruptcy.
Family members may lose all trust in the person who has brought them to financial ruin and may resent what they see as selfish behaviour.
Also, in extreme cases, compulsive shoppers may experience emotional blackouts. They return home but they do not remember having bought certain items.
Compulsive spenders often have parents who were substance abusers, gamblers, spenders or borrowers.
Like other impulse-control problems, compulsive spending tends to increase during times of stress. Stress can also lead to problems such as:
Kleptomania, when a person cannot resist the urge to steal something, even though he does not really need it; and
Trichotillomania, pulling out one’s hair, which gives the person satisfaction and some relief from tension.
If you suspect your spending is out of control, ask yourself:
Am I setting aside increasing time and money for shopping?
I tense before spending
Picture: THINKSTOCK and then felt good after I made my purchase?
Do I skip important family or work responsibilities to make time to shop?
Has my spending landed me in debt or damaged my relationship with others? and
Have I done shoplifting or something illegal to get money for shopping?
If you answered yes to several of these questions, seek the help of a mental health specialist.
How can compulsive shoppers help themselves?
Identify what it is that triggers your shopping spree;
Avoid places where you usually shop so that you are not tempted to linger and browse;
Arrange other activities such as family outings during times you are likely to go shopping;
Destroy all your credit cards, except the one you may need in an emergency;
Keep money in savings rather than a cheque account.
Make a shopping list before entering a store;
Keep reminding yourself that you cannot afford to go shopping;
Give most of your pay cheque to your partner, a trusted relative or friend to pay your accounts; and
Avoid order-by-phone shopping TV channels when you are bored or upset.
Ramphal is an educational psychologist with special interests in career counselling and learning and behaviour problems of children and adolescents. Visit ramphaledupsych.co.za