My Kind of Holiday
Where did you spend your last holiday?
Ghana.
What was the best thing you did while there?
We visited these old castles along the coast, where slaves were kept between shipments.
Your favourite city abroad and why?
Paris, France. It is the first city I have been that delivered on every promise of beauty, history and romance. I really enjoyed walking the city — so think of it as gym without the hard work.
What must a first-time visitor see there?
The Musée de l’Homme. It’ll fascinate you and freak you out at the same time. You get to see a cast of Saartjie Baartman (The Hottentot Venus) and maybe ask them who lost her skin and how. It makes them very uncomfortable.
What should they not bother with?
A full bag of clothes. You will need that extra space for the fabulous clothes you’ll find in hidden corners around the city.
What was your best holiday, ever?
Egypt. I’ve had a mild obsession with King Tutankhamun since high school, and my hubby decided to take me to Egypt to experience his story. I got to visit the pyramids and the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities, though I was too pregnant to fit in the tombs (darn!).
And your worst to date?
My first holiday in Ghana. I couldn’t cope with the humidity and felt like I was drowning in a sea of moisture, we were robbed and my kid got sick.
Which is the worst hotel you’ve stayed in?
Some hotel in Klerksdorp. Racist, outdated, something Eugène Terre’Blanche himself would have frowned upon.
What is the best thing you’ve been given on holiday … or pinched from a hotel?
A Starbucks voucher. Look, coffee can be expensive overseas, okay?
Who would be your fantasy holiday companion and why?
Oprah, because she would probably pay for everything!
Have you had any embarrassing moments as a traveller?
Ah yes. Staring blankly at a self-service till and trying not to look ignorant.
What’s your best piece of travel advice?
Be open-minded and pack Imodium.
Tumi Morake is a stand-up comedian. Catch her in the Mass Hysteria show on Saturday