‘Bargain’ that will bite your hand

TRAFFIC-light shopping has got to be the highlight of my day.

In Gauteng, you can do your monthly shopping at the traffic lights and receive pamphlets on every service under the sun.

One that always catches my eye is the “Major service . . . from R495” one.

After I stop laughing, I take one and skim through it. The claims made are laughable because the garage would be working for free if it carried out all the checks and replacement of parts as stipulated in the leaflet.

It is a sure way of getting a cash-strapped customer into the shop and then bushwhacking him or her.

Ten minutes after you have dropped off your car at the workshop, your phone rings.

Yes, it is the repair centre, letting you know that practically every other part on your motor vehicle has to be replaced.

The service is still R495, but replacing all the items that are damaged or badly worn will cost you R5 000.

Did you have any idea that you were driving a death trap? Or, that your car was in such a bad state of disrepair?

A sure-fire way of getting you to do the repairs is telling you that the extra amount they are now quoting you is for safetycritical items.

Let me give you an example of the cost to maintain probably the cheapest car in the market, the Golf I, carburettor model: Air filter — R37 Oil filter —R42 Fuel filter (plastic in-line) — R15

Four spark plugs (Bosch) — R60

5-litre engine oil (15W40) — R250

Labour (one hour, including VAT) — R456 This adds up to R860. This bill does not include any percentage added to the parts.

The parts are cost price to a service centre, which shows you that a major service can never be done for R495 under any circumstances.

The after-market service centres or non-dealerships that are in the know — and do really good work — are well aware of the fact that these ridiculous claims of servicing your vehicle cheaply are not true.

The old saying, “if something looks too good to be true, it is”, is perfect for this situation.

The absolute best check for me is the so-called visual check on drive shafts, steering, fuel lines and cooling system.

So, these guys are so good that they have X-ray vision and can check the state of wear on the CV joints on the side shafts?

What they mean to say is that they will have a five-second glance at the state of the steering rack boots and the CV joint boots on your car.

The cooling system, on the other hand, is completely different and needs to be pressure-tested to determine whether the pipes are still in good condition and the radiator does not leak.

You have to be a psychic to visually check them and be able to determine their state. The pressure test on your cooling system and the removal and check of the radiator cap can — and may — save you a very costly repair.

So a visual check can only be done by Superman.

Don’t look for bargains when your vehicle needs a service — they don’t exist (the bargains, that is).

Go to your regular mechanic and ask him to give you a written quote for repairs on your car.

If the quote is reasonable but you may have a problem with paying the entire amount, ask him which items need to be fixed urgently and which items can last until the next service.

This is a sure way of ensuring that your vehicle is always safe and you never miss a service.