David feels wrath of ICC giant
JUST when you thought the International Cricket Council (ICC) couldn’t get more desperate in their attempts to justify their existence, along came David Warner. Again.
Warner’s claims that SA were up to funny business with the ball at St George’s Park was typical of the nonsense cricketers are capable of sprouting when they are asked the right questions. Besides, Warner did not accuse the South Africans of ball-tampering: he pointed out their superior ability to work on the ball.
Whatever next? Are captains going to be fined for saying “heads” or “tails” at the toss? But no — the ICC have to be seen to act. And act they did, by taking 15% of Warner’s match fee. That’s right: an entire 15%. Wow. That’ll teach him. Bet he won’t do it again. It’s not as if Warner is a repeat offender, or that the ICC have better things to do.
DALE Steyn almost started a new Frontier War when, during a press conference at Newlands ahead of the third test, he kept referring to East London as the city in which the second test was played. The correct answer is, of course, Port Elizabeth.
A lot more than 300km separates the Eastern Cape’s major centres, from accents to culture, to the fact that PE will always be East London’s bigger, brighter, better brother. When Steyn’s error was pointed out, he had a ready excuse: “I went to the Eminem concert last night; my mind’s all over the place.”
SHANE Warne puts little store in coaching, as in: “I don’t believe in coaches in international cricket.” He has also opined out loud about coaches being more useful as vehicles to take teams to grounds.
So what is Warne doing swanning about Cape Town with the Australian squad, wearing the team kit, being seen in the company of Michael Clarke and other notables, and turning up at training sessions?
If he hadn’t been putting us straight for all these years, we would have had to assume he was in town in the guise of that useless thing that shall not speak its name in his company. You know . . . a coach. Helpfully, then, Warne tweeted on Thursday: “Virgin territory for me this morning, making my debut with the Aussie cricket team as a consultant/mentor ( not coach)!” Ah! Right.
Thanks for clearing that up, coach.
Players such as Steyn and Warne are regarded as wizards of their respective crafts, but what do real — or imagined — wizards make of something as mysterious as cricket? “A Beater who is unable to fly defends three sticks instead of a hoop, while a Snitch without wings is thrown at the sticks. That’s it. Sometimes for several days.” That’s according to JK Rowling, author and Quidditch mom..