Sideshows lighten the mood in court
COURTS are mostly serious. But even in the midst of the murder trial of the decade, our eagle-eyed reporters are able to spot silly, and sometimes downright looney, antics:
THE ‘DID HE REALLY SAY THAT?’ NEWS GUY: You could hear a pin drop when this journalist barked into his iPad, moments after the judge had left the courtroom and with everyone else still in attendance, to excitedly tell his Fox News Radio audience that Oscar Pistorius seemed “an unconcerned spectator” apparently “on some kind of medication”. Pistorius was still in court and his siblings, Carl and Aimee, stared at the radio man with mouths wide open.
THE BULLDOZER: Built like a rugby prop, Warrant-Officer “Make Way” Taljaard is the man in charge of protecting Pistorius from a scrum of photographers and rubbernecking members of the public. He specialises in striding forth, waving his hands about and booming “Make way, make way” at all in his path as he leads his charge to and from the courtroom each day. However, despite his physique, he is the friendliest man in court — when he is not pushing people out of the way.
WHAT TIME IS THE SMOKE BREAK?: Investigating officer Captain Mike van Aardt sits quietly next to the prosecutors, listening to the trial unfold. But pay close attention and you will notice him sneaking out of court every so often. Our spies tell us it is his nicotine habit that sends him rushing out through a side door to puff two or three times before tossing away the cigarette and running back to court. He must miss the old days when he and his former boss, ace detective Piet Byleveld, were allowed to smoke in the court corridors.
WHERE IS THE MUTE BUTTON?: Journalists have evolved over the years. These days, they can tweet, blog, report and file 30-second radio bulletins, all at the same time. Yet it seems some colleagues have yet to learn how to toggle the mute button on their fancy new iPads and laptops. Judging by the number of times an alert for a new e-mail or message has disturbed the court — to the extent that Judge Thokozile Masipa reprimanded a journalist whose laptop bleated out a broadcast — there is still some time to go before they master the technology.
BLONDIE NEEDS A MAP: Can somebody please buy Samantha Taylor a GPS for her next birthday? The 21-year-old reinforced blonde stereotypes when she took the stand to testify how her ex-boyfriend fired a shot through the sunroof of a car. She had no clue where they were at the time, reminding observers of a blonde poppie called Paris Hilton, who once said she loved South Africa and West Africa as they “are both great countries”. Roux asked Taylor whether they were in Pretoria. She said no. Sandton? Not sure. The northern suburbs of Johannesburg? She replied with this gem: “It was more like a middle-class area, maybe close to the Vaal.” We take it geography was never one of her strong subjects.
LOST IN TRANSLATION: Interpretations galore this week left many a journalist grasping for exactly who saw, heard and possibly “misinterpreted” what happened that morning. Emotions ran high when the first trial interpreter refused to enter court because of stage fright. The next expressed frustration over the time needed to top up her expiring bus ticket.
THE MYSTERY OF OSCAR’S HAIR: Yes, everybody is seeking the truth of what happened on Valentine’s Day last year. But what exactly are those two grey spots on the back of Pistorius’s head? And why does he not get them removed? Maybe he has been so caught up in trial preparations that he forgot about the crop circles?