A dummy for big baby

KETHOWAKHE Masuku wins the Baby of the Season award. The Orlando Pirates midfielder had to apologise for his sulky display after he was substituted in his side’s 2-0 Nedbank Cup win against Santos at Athlone Stadium. Masuku promptly put on his huge headphones once he sat on the bench, later being told to take them off by club officials. Talk about prima donna tendencies — someone get that baby a dummy.

HOW sweet! Matthew Pattison’s mom comes to watch him train. Tsamaya popped in to Milpark Stadium and spotted a pleasant lady sitting in the stands watching Bidvest Wits’ session. We wondered if she was a secretary or the wife of an owner. It turned out this was Pattison’s mom. We’re glad he has mended his ways from the days he earned the nickname “party” for his nightclubbing when he was with Norwich City. He’s such a nice boy now. And mom did not embarrass Pattison by accosting coach Gavin Hunt and asking why her son was not getting more game time.

MILLIONS of people around the world wish they could have had one-hundredth of Ronaldinho’s skill with a football at their feet, let alone play for Barcelona, Milan and Brazil. But the player with football’s biggest grin and a taste for strippers and fast cars ended his chance of playing for the hosts at June’s World Cup when pictures of his 34th birthday party went viral. More concerning, though, is: what’s going on in that pic? Ronaldinho in a small white swimming costume in a pool with bikini-clad women worshipping him. There’s some crazy stuff going on.

PLENTY of jokes followed the Gunners’ 6-0 disembowelling at the hands of Chelsea. The best one was: Question: When do Arsenal kick off? Answer: Every 15 minutes. Eish — harsh!