Belly laughs
COMIC “KG” Mokgadi is enjoying his Beyoncé moment — breaking out on his own. He’s been opening for Nik Rabinowitz to rave reviews — but this week at the Baxter Theatre in Cape Town, KG was the main act in his show Heavy, sporting a Men in Black suit and a belly that “makes white people in Cape Town think I’m a corrupt politician”. What makes your show special? Heavy is not funny because black people love chicken. Heavy is not funny because coloured people don’t have teeth. Heavy is not funny because white people are dof. It’s a different show. Tell us about your childhood in Pretoria. I was a dork. A real nerd. My mother cut my hair with scissors until I was in Grade 10. At school I’m probably the only dude who never shoplifted at Kwagga and that breaks my heart. Now that I’m older, I’m sad that I didn’t shoplift there. You live in Cape Town. Pros and cons? It’s South Africa. It’s all the same. I’m from Pretoria. I don’t get homesick. It’s not a weird thing for me. If I miss Pretoria, I go to Durbanville. It’s just like Pretoria. Blue Bulls fans all over the place. Will you be doing comedy until you die? I hope to do comedy until I die. But I don’t want to die onstage. That would be a kak show. When the show is done, I want to have a show so good that I get a heart attack backstage. If you weren’t a comedian, what would you be doing? I could have been a librarian. Accountant. Computer programmer. I was destined to be boring. Who are you voting for in the elections? I haven’t decided. When freedom fighters fought for our freedom, I don’t think they thought they’d leave us with these big decisions. I’m voting for Pieter Mulder, because if I don’t, no one will.
What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear was falling on stage, landing on my ass. And then I did. Now I don’t have a great fear any-
more. But seriously, South Africa not waking up and realising its full potential. South Africans not waking up and going: “We are actually a cool country.” Have you been following the
Pistorius trial? I have and my attention span with things is not that good. I’m a consumer. I live in the internet life. I’m tired of Oscar. Go to jail, don’t go to jail, just get away from my screen, and my newspaper and my internet. I was going to write jokes about it, but I don’t want to write jokes about things that bore me. Does your family give you a lot of
good material? I’m not the dude that does racial stereotypes. My life is funny because people can relate to it. Somebody always has a crazy dad or a hard-working aunt that curses. —