Semi-naked lunch
The mammary gland is a milk delivery system. Let’s cut all the fuss, says Shanthini Naidoo
PEOPLE seem to have an issue with exposed breasts. Not boobs. People love boobs, showing them off, appreciating them. But there is something about breasts doing what they are actually wired to do, in public, that either gets people frothy or defensive.
The frothy ones look away in disgust for being exposed to the heinous act of feeding an infant. Can you imagine — eating in public?
The defensive (read: new age) post cathartic, angry, monochromatic poems on YouTube about how babies should not be relegated to public loos at feed times.
Ever heard of a mother’s room? You don’t need to pretend to be trying something on to use it these days, should you want to. The extremists encourage flashing the feeding to the world like a bouncy, milky badge.
Is there a neutral space where we just ignore it, smile, and all get on with our meals?
Because most of us know how amazing breast milk is: a cocktail of all your favourite things that will also make you smart and healthy.
It’s as addictive as crack, and babies can sniff it out a mile away, like Twilight vampires hunting a juicy carotid. And like vampires, babies can attack their milk sup- pliers anywhere, any time.
Take the scene in Modern Family when Sofia Vergara’s character, Gloria, has to answer the door while breast-feeding her child. She is asked to sign the delivery receipt (over and over again) while the mailman gapes.
It is obvious why anyone would stare at a beautiful boob. But at issue was whether she was discreet enough. Gloria thought the silly man could have looked away, and I agree.
Unless the feeder is exceptionally well endowed, the feeding baby hides most of its lunch plate. All the better if the child has a big head, as they often do when first they arrive.
A facecloth can cover up the rest, but even without it, would still be more discreet than Kim Kardashian’s postpregnancy butt-selfie.
Anyway, discretion seems slightly ridiculous in a world of dresses with side-boob cutouts and accidental-onpurpose nip-slips. As for the other extreme, blatant exposure, it can be quite cold out in the open air.
If breast-feeding in public was not made into such a big deal, those who so choose could just get on with it — putting the best breast forward, without the gawping or the applause. LS
Breast milk ... a cocktail of all your favourite things that make you healthy and smart