Don't let your plus be a minus
Sibongile Mafu shares her principles for party-partner selection
You’re confronted with an amazing event that demands your attendance because you’re fabulous and important, and besides having to decipher what “smart casual” actually means so you can decide what to wear, you have to make the all-important decision of who your companion is going to be.
Here’s how to decide who will take on (and is worthy of) that pivotal role. Some of these tips may seem fickle. That’s because most of them are. 1. Make sure the person has some kind of stylish bone in their +1 body. You know the movie There Will Be Blood? A similar certitude applies to events: There Will Be Photographs. And like herpes, they last forever, so make sure you have them taken with someone who looks good. And a decent,
semiconscious dress sense is imperative. 2. The someone needs to be someone who gets invited to parties in his or her own capacity You need a strong +1, and that means they have to have their own life, and by that I mean their own invites to other events. People must actually want this person around. The mark of a good one is knowing that they’ll be able to mingle and talk to people other than you without you having to check for the nearest EXIT signs. And it also means you’re a guaranteed +1 to whatever amazing thing they
get invited to. Think of it as an events stokvel.
3. Siblings are a safe choice Siblings are great because you can gracefully duck the “are you two together?” questions that inexplicably come from strangers after too many cocktails and too much loud music. The sibling story is cute and safe, and they more often than not make good guests.
4. Do not take your mom Unless you’re going to the Academy Awards and you’re up for Best Actor, your mom is never a good +1. I adore mothers, but they need to be shielded from some of these events. It’s in the parents’ handbook. They don’t need to see how devastating the country’s future looks, and they don’t need to know what your friends are really like after dark. 5. Take your significant other only when you’re comfortable calling them that If you’re dating someone whom you’d love to take out into the world and parade them around like a World Cup trophy, be sure you’re actually ready to answer people’s questions about this person — because, after a few champagnes, people’s inhibitions evaporate and they’re ready to plan your wedding. Be ready for this. And make sure your significant other is ready for it, because it’s going to come hard at them, like poo in a protest.