Crash and recovery of a ’corporate rat’
RICHARD Hawkey describes himself as a regular guy who is happily married with two young children. He was a senior banking manager in Johannesburg, but in 2010 he unexpectedly suffered burnout and was diagnosed with depression.
He recovered 100% and resigned from the corporate world. He wrote a book, Life
Less Lived, and runs his own wellness and productivity company in between being the “ugliest soccer mom in town”.
The smart 42-year-old told of days when he could not get out of bed — and how he got better.
“I was a corporate rat pounding the treadmill, successful in terms of society,” he said, describing his relentless daily routine and resulting fatigue.
He believed he would sort his life out on a 10-day holiday at the coast in mid-2010.
“I was answering my Black-Berry messages on the highway, driving at 120km/h. But we got there and I rapidly started losing interest in everything.
“Before that, I was performing and getting awards at work. Then I fell off a cliff.”
His wife advised him to see a doctor. “The GP told me I had burnout and depression. I thought he was being ridiculous. That was only for hysterical women,” he said, apologising for this bias.
“How dare I be depressed when I drive past people with no jobs, no food, no homes?”
The doctor said prolonged periods of stress could change the brain’s chemistry and antidepressants could help.
“I started the meds and the next day I could not get out of bed. I am very sensitive to medication,” he said.
“I visited several doctors for second opinions. I had an important life to lead and needed them to fix me. When three of them classified me as temporarily disabled, it focused my attention.”
He went through four types of antidepressants before they started to work.
In addition to medication, he signed up for six sessions of cognitive behaviour therapy.
“When I really looked in the mirror, I could see I was the greatest cause of my own stress. I’m a perfectionist. I’m not a hippy about to go skipping through the flowers, but I got in touch with the emotional side of my brain.
“I learned new techniques and thought patterns. I learned to invest time in myself.”
Hawkey is studying for a master’s in applied psychology at the University of Liverpool.
In collaboration with health professionals, he has developed software for stress.
Using this, a survey of more than 2 500 people showed that more than half had poor quality sleep and nearly half were demotivated, suffering exhaustion and avoidance.