Lengthy and evasive SMS exchanges

WEDNESDAY JULY 16

Sunday Times (5.24pm): Dr Jordan. Hello, my name is Gareth van Onselen; I work as a reporter for the Sunday Times. I wonder if you would be so kind as to send me your e-mail address as I have an a query for you?

Pallo Jordan (5.31pm): Why

not SMS?

ST (5.32pm): Well, it is fairly complicated and requires some space. PJ (5.33pm): Not my fault! ST (5.36pm): I don’t think it is a question of guilt or innocence, merely logistics, but if you prefer I am happy to set it out on SMS. I shall send it through later this evening. Thank you.

ST (7.52pm): Dr Jordan, I am trying to confirm your academic qualifications. Your official GCIS CV has your title as “Dr” and says you “studied” at Wisconsin and obtained “a postgraduate degree” from the LSE. On inquiry, Wisconsin confirms you studied there but did not complete a degree. Also on inquiry, the LSE states it can “find no record” of you being awarded a PhD and the school can find “no record for Zweledinga Pallo Jordan at the LSE” for any degree or diploma. I would be most grateful if you could tell me (1) What your formal academic qualifications are (2) On what basis you use the title “Dr” (3) Whether you can help explain the LSE’s response. Thank you, regards, Gareth van Onselen

PJ (9.33pm): I’m at a reception. Let me call u when I get home.

ST (9.34pm): Okay, thank you. No rush either, if you would prefer to call tomorrow morning. Either good. THURSDAY JULY 17

ST (11.06am): If you would

prefer, my e-mail address is (blank).

PJ (11.14am): I am arriving in Jozie [Johannesburg] on Wed. I will bring with me all the documentation. U bring yours.

ST (11.21am): I presume you are overseas. No problem, I shall wait for your return next week. I am unfortunately in CT [Cape Town] but if you believe it best to meet I can arrange that. I shall, in the interim, send you via e-mail a more comprehensive outline of the query, as well as my correspondence with W-M and the LSE.

PJ (1.56pm): I shall have the relevant documentation, including letters of acceptance, testimonials from teChers [teachers], profs, etc.

ST (2.05pm): Okay, thank you. I shall send that correspondence through this afternoon, for your information. SATURDAY JULY 19

PJ (1.16pm): I had hoped that my selected biographer would be the one who writes up the twisted narrative of my life. But, it appears that a would be detractor will be the person to do so. My return home has been delayed by a day or two. When I get close to a PC I’ll send u a prelimanary [sic] account. Relevant materials are at home so they’ll have to await my return. I'll reach for scheduled appoint as soon as I land.

ST (1.19pm): Thank you. I shall await your return. WEDNESDAY JULY 23

ST (6.41pm): Dr Jordan, I sent you a follow up e-mail just to set out exactly what I am trying to confirm, to avoid any unnecessary locating of documents on your part. Gareth

PJ (8.02pm): Shud be back in Jozi Friday, back 2 CT on

Tuesday. I don’t lug my huge Apple when I travel.

PJ (9.11pm): Refer my SMS,19:7? Hold what ever u r doing, and u cud b that biographer. Bc in CT on Tues

ST (9.13pm): I shan’t write anything until I have a response from you. MONDAY JULY 28

ST (9.38am): Dr Jordan, are you back in South Africa? If so, have you had a chance to read through the two e-mails I sent you, and could you please give me some indication as to when I can expect a response by? Thank you, Gareth

Expect correspondence from here in the next day or two

ST (4.13pm): Dr Jordan, I would be grateful if you could give me an indication as to when you will be able to reply to my query. Gareth

PJ (4.54pm): I had hoped that my chosen biographer wud b the one who collects on the Faustian bargain I made 30 years ago. U have taken that role with no invitation. So, here’s the deal. U can wait for me to get home, and I give u a full biography of a key player in SA politics over the past thirty odd years. It cud rival Gevisser’s Dream Deferred. Or you could go for a Profumo story [British government sex scandal of the late 1950s] that burns out in month or less. I am still en route home and haven’t read your E-mail.

ST (5.03pm): That is kind of you but I am interested only in confirming the facts in this particular matter: 1. What your formal academic qualifications

are. 2. On what basis you use the title “Dr”, and 3. Your explanation for the LSE’s response. If the context is relevant to those facts, please do provide it. But it is those facts I am trying to confirm and understand. From what you have said, I assume you will be home tomorrow, I shall follow up tomorrow evening, if that is alright. Thank you. TUESDAY JULY 29

ST (12.40pm): Dr Jordan, I have not yet received a response from you. I first wrote [to] you two weeks ago, on 16 July. You asked me to send the query though by SMS. You then said you would phone me. Then, you said you would return to SA on Wednesday 23 July and contact me then. You then said your return was delayed but, when near a PC, you would send me a “preliminary account”. Then you said you [would] set up preliminary appointment “as soon as you land”. You then indicated you would be back on Friday 25 July and in CT on Tuesday 29 July. At least two of the queries — your formal academic qualifications and the basis on which you use the title “Dr”— require no documentation as of yet, simply the facts. I can understand the LSE query requiring more detail. I would be grateful if you could please respond soonest. Thank you, Gareth WEDNESDAY, JULY 30

ST (9.51am): Dr Jordan, I have, as of yet, received no substantive reply from you to my original two e-mails and SMS correspondence over the course of the last two weeks — and the queries therein. The Sunday Times intends to go to print with this story this coming Sunday. If you do not reply today, I am going to take it that your response to the three questions posed: 1. What are your formal academic qualifications? 2. On what basis you use the title “Dr”? 3. What is your response to the LSE’s statement that it has no record of you at that institution and no record you having been awarded a PhD by the School? as no comment or refused to reply, which I believe to be reasonable descriptions of your response, given the time afforded you for a reply and relative simplicity of the questions. Obviously, if you do wish to provide comment, you can reach me at my e-mail address or on my cellphone at any time today. I have also sent you an e-mail to this effect. Gareth

PJ (9.57am): Currently in London regarding your wueries [queries]. Expect correspondence from here in the next day or two responding to your queries.

ST (6.20pm): Dr Jordan, I have, as of yet, received no response or correspondence answering the queries I sent through. Gareth THURSDAY JULY 31

ST (8.57am): Dr Jordan, I am now on deadline. For the final time, could you please tell me: 1. What are your formal academic qualifications? 2. On what basis do you use the title “Dr’? 3. Whether you can help explain the LSE’s response? Without a response, I am forced to write you were unwilling to answer those questions for a period of two weeks. Gareth

PJ (2.48pm): Tell me, does Tokyo still poem [own] Times Media? I will not take an old friend to court, but I’ll take you to the cleaners, the dry cleaners plus the laundry!! So do what you wanna!!