It’s good manners to share this superpower

KATE Reardon, Tatler editor and defender of British manners, has been at it again ahead of a BBC documentary series about the magazine titled Posh People.

Reardon defended remarks she made previously that manners are as important as exam grades: “I still absolutely stand by the fact that if you have good manners, people will like you . . . If I’m interviewing somebody, she walks in, she looks me in the eye, she sits down, she knows how to engage me conversationally and she doesn’t bore me rigid, I’m going to be far more impressed than with somebody who . . . hasn’t bothered to wash her hair, is picking at her nails, can’t look me in the eye. It’s human nature.”

It most certainly is. Reardon added: “I think that to talk to children — whatever their background — about good manners would be a huge gift to them, because it gives them confidence in social situations. And this is not about trying to make people posh, it’s about giving the gift of ease and confidence, which is extraordinarily powerful.”

“Posh people” have always prided themselves on being entertaining, keeping the conversation flowing, drawing the timid out. Loftier folk are forever barking at their infants to “wait for a gap” (in adult conversation) or admonishing them as to when to “speak up”.

Above all, polite people — posh or otherwise — consider others. “Whether for dinner, some kindness, sex, or a job interview, thank someone for their time. Only talking about yourself is an obvious vice. Ensure you have asked someone a question about themselves within 15 minutes, no matter whether you have just got engaged, are expecting triplets, or have been abducted by aliens. Never just wait for your turn to speak . . . and don’t be late. Manners aren’t class-specific. What parent wouldn’t want to secure this superpower for their children?”— ©