Consequences of premature sex can destroy young lives

YOUR article “Sex video shame led pupil to kill herself” (March 8), about the suicide of a teenage girl four years after a video of her (then 15) and two boys (14 and 16) having sex on school grounds, refers.

The story of her shame formed part of a submission by The Teddy Bear Clinic for Abused Children to parliament’s portfolio committee on justice and correctional services. The organisation is trying to decriminalise consensual acts between children aged 12 to 15. It argues that it causes the children unnecessary trauma. I just don’t get it! Just because something you do causes trauma, it should be decriminalised? The trauma was caused by other pupils capturing the illegal act on video (which is a crime) and letting it go viral (another crime). What also caused trauma is the way the case was handled in court.

What should rather be looked at is the way these cases should be handled in court and in the media.

Any court case where children are involved — whether it is child molestation, rape, drugs, begging or stealing— would cause trauma to the child. Does it mean there should not be a court case?

Let us come back to decriminalising consensual penetrative sex between two children between 12 and 15 years of age.

If a child of 12 becomes pregnant, she must leave school or have an abortion, in which case she can just go to an abortion clinic and demand an abortion.

A child of 12 years old does not have the emotional intelligence to make decisions like that. They are not old enough to vote, they are not old enough to drink or smoke according to the law, but they are given the freedom to have sex and have abortions and deal with sexually transmitted diseases and all the emotional problems, regrets and guilt that are consequences of childhood sex.

Studies show that the earlier a child is exposed to sexual content and begins having sex, the likelier they are to engage in high-risk sex. Children who have sex by age 13 are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, engage in frequent intercourse, have unprotected sex and use drugs or alcohol before sex.

In a study by researcher Dr Jennings Bryant, more than 66% of boys and 40% of girls reported wanting to try sexual behaviours they saw in the media (and by high school, many had done so), which increases the risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Some of the psychological consequences of premature sex — such as feelings of regret — are beginning to get more attention. A 2004 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy asked teenagers: “If you have had sexual intercourse, do you wish you had waited?” Two-thirds said yes.

The destructive psychological consequences of temporary sexual relationships are real. Being aware of them can help a young person make and stick to the decision to avoid premature sexual involvement.

The attempted suicide rate for sexually experienced girls between the ages of 12 and 16 is six times higher than it is for girls that age who are virgins.

Recently, the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health found that boys and girls who are sexually active are more likely to feel depressed and attempt suicide than peers who are not sexually active. We as a society just cannot afford for our children become sexually involved at 12 to 16 years of age. — Carin Nel, Stellenbosch

Talkative friends

“DIVORCE by SMS: How Biff lied to his wife” (March 8) refers. The “friends” are happy to name and shame but they are not named. What kind of friends are they? Friends don’t divulge anything! — Barbara, by SMS

Lewis Pugh, front and centre

CONGRATULATIONS on printing that magnificent photograph of Lewis Pugh’s epic swim in “Freeze frame” (March 8).

Pity, though, that the Sunday Times didn’t deem Pugh’s almost superhuman achievement important enough — or, indeed, the photograph striking enough — to grace the front page.

Instead, we got the earth-shattering headline about Graeme Smith divorcing his wife. But then sleaze and “skinder” sell, not so? Shame on you for missing an opportunity to highlight the plight of our oceans, and ultimately our own precarious existence. — Melanie Harris, by e-mail

ANC must pay for spy tactic

“STATE security pledges probe into CIA claims won’t be a ‘witch-hunt’ ” (March 8) refers. The ANC’s dirty tactic of insinuating that people are spies when they are not is redundant and obsolete.

It’s high time someone took the ANC to court for defamation and vicarious liability. Will it install surveillance equipment in its members’ houses, toilets, cars and offices? Will they be humiliated and made unemployable? — Mekoa Sereme, Sebokeng

Vicious transport cycle

“UP at 4am to spend 40 days a year in taxis for her work” (March 8) refers.

I sympathise because I come from such a situation, although in my time there were no taxis. But even worse off is a varsity student I know. She has no monthly income, spends more than R1 400 a month on transport and still has a student loan to repay. Before starting to work, she is already in debt.

Some of her lectures are in the morning, some in the afternoon and, some, both morning and afternoon. Sometimes her lecturers don’t pitch up and they don’t have the decency to inform her. What a waste of money and time.

Morning lectures mean getting up at 4am, but at least it means coming home early. Afternoon classes end at 5pm and, taking two taxis home, she gets home between 6.30pm and 7pm.

Winter is another scenario . . . going in the dark and coming back in the dark. But, thankfully, this is her final year.

Her niece is studying at the same varsity. As her vicious cycle ends, her niece’s cycle starts! — D Julius, Ennerdale

Officials should enable the love

REDI Tlhabi’s “Babies ‘not for sale’, but who will love these innocents?” (March 8) refers. You cannot get away with abuse. If you do, the department is responsible. They should be following the new parents from day one for at least two years.

I was an only child. My mom and dad adopted my brother when I was two. We are 67 now — my brother is exactly one week older than me. We are very close — everybody always thought we were twins.

The adoption department needs to do its work through to the end to give those babies and the new moms and dads the love they deserve. — HA Armstrong-Kelly, Richards Bay

Payment is nobody’s business

“ZEPHANY’S family rakes in cash for interviews” (March 8) refers.

What business is it of the Sunday Times what Zephany’s family does with the money it got paid by foreign press for the story of their daughter’s kidnapping? — Richard J Koseff, by SMS

Level the playing field

I AM puzzled about your philosophy. In “Pupil crosses sticks with school and wins” (March 8) you published a prominent article praising the efforts of Zanele Leon in fighting for equality of women in sport, yet your sports pages are filled with the usual images of snarling, grimacing sports MEN.

On the odd occasion that you feature women, they at least have a look of concentration or a smile on their faces and are the more preferable images by that token at least! But surely if you believe in women’s equal rights they should apply to sport as well?— Bob Barry, by e-mail