In praise of the man who’s let himself go
Recognition at last for the guy who doesn’t actively take care of himself but is all the better for it, says
THE internet likes to make up words when it gets bored. So we get “broga” when a man does downward dog, “meggings” when he slips tights over his hairy thighs, and “manscaping” when . . . well, you get the idea.
The latest buzzword, though, has a bit of weight to it (literally).
The phrase “dad bod” has cropped up a few times over the past month and the internet began buzzing with enthusiasm for the unsculpted, imperfect, dadtype builds of middle-aged guys. It sounds ridiculous, even pathetic, but the dad bod is good news for the average guy.
“The dad bod says: ‘I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time,’ ” says Mackenzie Pearson, a student who is credited with starting the dad bod revolution in a piece for The Odyssey.
“While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive.”
Men who fall under the “dad bod” label include Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Will Smith and Chris Pratt (in his Parks & Rec phase, when he spent most the time on the couch, not his Guardians of the Galaxy era, when he looks as if he has not had chips in a while).
Some have suggested Jon Hamm, but he seems a bit buff to me. Jeff Goldblum seems like the kind of guy who does not actively take care of himself but is all the better for it. Perfect dad bod fodder.
Appreciation for the older, less muscular man is not new, but it is good to have a name for it. Before the dad bod, we were clutching at straws, figuring out how to define what we meant by the sort-of-healthy-but-notmanic lifestyle the dad bod lives by.
It sounds unaspirational, but that is kind of a good thing. It is about living a little, not worrying about what size jeans you wear, or whether your stomach looks as if it was hewn from the finest marble.
Whatever age you are, I think the message here is positive. If you are a young guy who is a bit of a gym bro, it says that maintaining your idealised body shape for the rest of your life is not necessary. Look at Leo DiCaprio, who has gone from a blond-curtained teen pinup to a total dad bod over the years. And to older guys worrying that they need to tone up and do a 10K to stay attractive, the message is clear: do as much or as little as you feel comfortable doing. No more.
A lot of the dialogue we have about men’s physiques comes from gay culture; big-
WHO’S YOUR DAD BOD?: Zac Efron and Seth Rogen in ‘Bad Neighbors’ ger, hairy guys are either otters or bears depending on their age; slim, younger guys are twinks, et cetera.
Those terms are used by gay men to describe gay men, and outside that context they do not really work. Dad bod is universal.
It might seem that celebrating the dad bod is a bit pointless; men do not face the pressure or scrutiny that women do when it comes to how they look.
And the term would not really work if it were applied to women; “I can’t stop thinking about how offended I would be if men were talking about the ‘mom bod’,” says Emily Shornick on The Cut website.
That is an interesting point, and it highlights the fact that, unlike women, men are not stigmatised by ageing. Going grey is seen as distinguished; some men suit shaved (bald) heads.
The only time I think about hitting the gym is when I see guys on Instagram showing off how in shape they are. It makes me feel lazy, and think there is a precedent for how desirable I am supposed to be to anyone who might be watching. It is totally stupid, but men are impressionable, and it does not take much to make us feel weak.
Perhaps things are changing. Just last month, Abercrombie & Fitch declared death to its sexualised marketing, including the shirtless, muscular staff prowling the stores.
The message was clear: not only does the retailer’s perception of what men want to look like feel a bit sleazy, in 2015 people are not comfortable being defined by how they look on the outside.
Huge arms and toned pecs are fine, but swanning around looking like you know you are sexy and desirable is obnoxious. WAISTED: Leonardo DiCaprio has graduated from being an ever-young heart-throb to a mature guy at ease with himself
It is about living a little, not worrying about what size jeans you wear
So, is being a dad bod desirable? I think so. There are suggestions that DiCaprio, with the others mentioned above, has let himself go a bit since he hoisted Kate Winslet up on the front of the Titanic, but it is not exactly damaging him, is it?
He might not be a pinup any more, but that is OK. He seems to be having a nice time. Good for him.
That is what is so great about dad bods. They enjoy life, and that is attractive (if you are into guys) and aspirational (if you are not).
There is nothing wrong with having loads of chips, or an entire Nando’s chicken while everyone else has a half. They do not have that overzealous lust for self-im- provement that plagues so many guys. They have bigger priorities in life.
I will have a drink (or three) to that. — ©