These coaching sagas make a mockery of club stability
ZISELA ntoni icoach? (what are the coaches drinking?)
In the case of the Chippa United coach Roger Sikhakhane, he is drinking alcohol. On duty. Allegedly.
How was this fact established? Some breathalyser on two feet smelt Sikhakhane reeking of the waters of immortality.
The liquor smell conclusively convinced the smeller that the smellee was drunk out of his sockets. Allegedly.
Now Sikhakane is suspended by United pending the outcome of a disciplinary hearing — presumably a shebeen of his or the club’s choice will be a suitable venue to go over the case while cracking a couple of cold ones, no?
Sikhakhane maintains that he was sober as a judge, but not Judge Motata.
This columnist shares no sympathy for Sikhakhane, a man seemingly addicted to his boss Chippa Mpengesi more than a crackhead is to his mindnumbing substance.
Sikhakhane is a sucker for punishment and possesses an unassailable appetite for stomaching truckloads of Mpengesi’s hiring and firing shenanigans.
Anyway, usela ntoni uSerame Letsoaka? (what is Serame drinking?).
It would seem Letsoaka imbibes a strong home-made brew of homesickness.
That’s his reason for departing from the Durban club Lamontville Golden Arrows. Letsoaka surprised all and sundry when he packed his bags and left Arrows in a huff.
Arrows boss lady Mato Madlala wasn’t chuffed at the manner in which her club was dumped by a man she gave a maiden gig to as head coach of a Premier Soccer League outfit.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that Letsoaka had kept eyes at the developments at Bloemfontein Celtic, a club that announced him as the new mentor in a mere matter of hours after departing Durban.
Which brings us to the question: usela ntoni u Clinton Larsen (what does Clinton Larsen drink?). He drinks a strong-balls brew.
Now if Letsoaka was a coward in the manner he handled his resignation, Larsen was the direct opposite.
He told Celtic management, who wanted to impose an assistant coach on him, to go bungee jumping without a rope. Well in not so many words. But kind of. And so he resigned with his dignity intact, and days later returned home to Durban to replace Letsoaka at Arrows.
These three sagas speak to several things.
In the case of Larsen, Celtic could argue that they were shoring up a technical team of a side that had struggled to record a win in six matches.
But Larsen certainly saw the move as an attempt to erode his powers.
He refused to accept castration for the sake of staying in a job and he showed balls of steel by resigning to give the club room to do as they deemed fit.
This is a completely different scenario to the circus at Chippa. No one needs to be an Einstein to deduce that they wanted to reshuffle their coaching cabinet. Consider this: Daniel “Dan Dance” Malesela had been brought on board after he was dumped by Cape Town All Stars.
All of a sudden, Sikhakhane is on the skids for showing up at work allegedly smelling of alcohol and the club boss is ready to act against him. After Malesela arrived?
Strange coincidence or the universe aligning things nicely for the Mpengesi chap?
Look at Maritzburg United. They gave Mandla Ncikazi a chance, but pressed panic buttons after only three games of the man being in charge. In came 71-year-old Clive Barker.
Just when it looked like The Dog was barking life into the team he was given the heave-ho because he was too old.
Just two months later. Genius!
Dan Dance is being a dunce by accepting the Chippa job under the circumstances he did.
If you stage a coup on your fellow professional today, another one will do the same to you. And the observers will ask: Usela ntoni coach Malesela?