Blame your mom for the body blues
UNHAPPY with your body? Blame your mother.
New research shows that women’s body insecurities are more than just skin deep. Our mothers’ opinions matter.
The research found that Mom’s stinging comments about eating that tempting piece of cake contributes to a poor body image.
“You have to watch what you say about getting fat or what you eat because this influences your child’s attitudes about themselves,” warns Dr Zandile Mchiza, a clinical dietician.
In a recent paper for the Human Sciences Research Council, Mchiza found that a mother’s perceptions of the ideal body was often passed on to her daughter.
Mchiza quizzed about 300 preteen girls and their mothers. She found that culture and ethnicity also played a role.
The girls between nine and 13 were shown eight female silhouettes from slender to overweight and asked to pick their ideal body shape. Young black girls chose a fuller figurer while white girls picked the thinner silhouette.
‘‘In some communities being thin is associated with disease. People will think you have HIV or TB. Also being chubby means you are wealthier,” Mchiza said.
The group was also asked to choose silhouettes they regarded as beautiful and girls from across ethnic groups picked silhouettes similar to those that their mothers chose.
White women, though, favoured the thinner body type as the ideal picture of health.
Mchiza said: ‘‘What is of concern is that South African studies suggest that overweight black women are resistant to adopt health behaviours despite knowing that they are at an increased risk of disease.”
Western Cape-based psychologist Angela Hough agrees that a mother’s attitude to her own body and diet has a big influence on her daughter.
Negative comments about weight could lead to long-term self-esteem damage.
This, she said, often manifested in young people being overweight and depressed.
‘‘This sometimes leads to suicidal behaviour and some seek intimacy and sexuality without valuing themselves. The other extreme [is] eating disorders like binge eating or anorexia,” Hough said.
Johannesburg dietician Lila Bruk, who based her master’s degree on childhood body image, said more than half the girls in her study, aged eight BENEATH the stethoscope of Dr Diana Dickinson, right, is the body of a competitive athlete. Following in the footsteps of her mother, Kathleen Luckay, left, the 26-year-old is a body builder on her off days from her service to the community.
The second of four daughters, Dickinson said her mother — who always followed a rigorous fitness regime — instilled a healthy body image in her children. “I basically grew up in the gym with my older sister. My mom competed from the time I was very young.
“I’ve been accustomed to the body-building industry since I was very young. She was an influence in fitness and health and we were pretty much brought up with a healthy lifestyle.”
Her younger sister is a former national gymnast. Dickinson said her mother encouraged them to study ballet from the age of four.
“She always encouraged us to be fit and healthy and it was never a case of she didn’t want us to be fat.
“There was never any criticism of what your body looked like, but she always subtly hinted towards being more fit rather than sitting back and being laid-back and lazy. She’s always had a positive influence.”
She trains twice a day up to six days a week and sometimes trains with her mom on weekends.
Luckay, 52, a maths teacher and deputy principal at Trinityhouse Preparatory School in Randpark Ridge, began body building when she was 32 in 1995, but stopped after her third daughter was born.
“I’ve always maintained that if you have a healthy body, you have a healthy mind. I actually influenced my [own] mother to exercise when I was a teenager,”
said Luckay. — and nine, had wanted to lose weight.
‘‘Some of them had already tried to lose weight in the past. The kids wanted to look thinner and specifically felt pressure from their friends and their families,” Bruk said.
‘‘What I find in most cases is that their mothers place an emphasis on weight.
“Daughters are told, ‘ You need to lose weight or boys won’t look at you.’ ”
Refue Mofokeng, 32, a Johannesburg copywriter, said she was a ‘‘fat” kid and was already popping diet pills at 10 years old. ‘‘I’m very plus size which pretty much means I’m obese.”
She grew up bigger than her six siblings who teased her, so she learned to deal with it through humour.
‘‘I was on [appetite suppressant] Duromine. My mom would tell me I needed to lose weight and would be scared to take me shopping in case I couldn’t find my size. I don’t think she was being malicious, just protective. But I think it did more harm than good.”
You have to watch what you say because this influences your child’s attitudes
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