Famous and desperate: why celebrities flirt with suicide
We know what he’s talking about, people in showbiz say after singer’s admission
THE bombshell admission by rapper HHP this week that he tried to commit suicide three times last year has elicited support from fellow celebrities — some of whom admit they too battle with depression and have considered taking their own lives.
7de Laan actress Vuyelwa Booi said she had been suffering from depression since she was 12 and had been hospitalised three times, while Strictly Come Dancing host Roxy Burger told of being haunted by suicidal thoughts.
And experts say those in the public eye are prone to depression. “They are under incredible pressure to remain big stars, live perfect lives,” said clinical psychologist Mthetho Tshemese.
During an interview on CliffCentral radio on Monday, HHP, whose real name is Jabulani Tsambo, told Gareth Cliff of three attempts in which he had used carbon monoxide and helium — which he had read about after “joining a website called Suicide Assist”.
“Radio is starting to only play trap music and I cannot do trap music because it’s synonymous with [singing about] bitches, champagne and money,” he said. “That is not what black excellence is about; that is not what Steve Biko died for.
“I wanted to kill myself because I was not getting gigs because I am old school and realised I had to either get with the programme or just fizzle out with the rest of the oldies,” Tsambo said.
The suicide attempts came after he had tried seeing a psychiatrist and taking antidepressants but “the shrink was too expensive and Zoloft made me feel lethargic”.
Booi, 35, said she had never fully dealt with her depression until she was in her 20s as her parents had not understood the illness. She was hospitalised three times and said she had “split minds — one that hated myself, another which wanted to carry on in search of what was really wrong with me”.
“Immediately, people would assume ‘she needs to go to church, she is possessed with demons’.
“I got help, but also became a master at disguising my depression. I’d be in my dressing room on set sobbing and the moment the producer called me for scenes I’d be jovial and professional as if nothing had happened,” said Booi.
Celebrated painter Yvette Molenaar said she had often been unable to get out of bed and face the world, but had put it down to menopause. “I thought I just needed a new life and then everything would be better.” Then, one Sunday, she found “the solution”.
“I cooked lunch for the kids. I went into my studio to paint — but instead of painting soft, colourful flowers as usual, I started painting a dark black angel. I told the children I was going to have a sleep, but I had other plans. I simply took the pills and overdosed.”
Her husband came home early and she was rushed to hospital.
“Since then I have realised there are so many people out there suffering from depression. By being open about what happened to me, so many others opened up about their own anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts.”
Burger said suicidal thoughts had haunted her three times, during which she had imagined being “hit by a bus, dying in a bath and once I thought about driving my car into the railing on the highway”.
“This [last] time I was in a bad patch, struggling to get work and being away from family for five weeks during Survivor. Now I am on medication and I work with Sadag [South African Depression and Anxiety Group] and this helps,” said Burger.
Actress Sophie Ndaba, Idols judge Somizi Mhlongo, Parlotones frontman Kahn Morbee and singer Zahara said although they had never been diagnosed with depression, they could relate to the stress of the entertainment industry.
“I was broke, in a dark place from 2006 to 2009, the banks would call wanting their money and I wouldn’t even have enough money for petrol,” said Mhlongo.
Zahara said she had faced many problems but went home to the Eastern Cape when things got extreme. “It is hard to have friends in this industry because you never know who’s really here for you.”
Morbee said: “Being famous can sometimes get lonely and has its highs and lows but we all need to reboot when things start getting us down.”
❛ I got help, but also became a master at disguising my depression