Don’t let the heart rule the head
Take care offinances, whether married or moving in together
WHETHER you’re getting married or living together, cultural and religious differences will play a big role in how you manage money and household. Some people place a big emphasis on traditional roles, although the family structure is different now.
Siba Njoba, a financial planner at Alexander Forbes, says it’s important that partners communicate expectations in a cross-cultural relationship, particularly if they’re not married.
“Partners need to view the relationship as though it is a business partnership, especially if they intend on having joint ownership of property and assets outside marriage.”
But for many couples, pressure from families as well as responsibilities can get in the way of their financial plans.
Many people take care of family members, for instance. If your partner has to pay their siblings’ school fees or pay off their parents’ house, the impact of these responsibilities needs to be factored into your discussions about money.
Njoba advises that a couple decide what is important to them, and that they should consider their values, and religious and cultural expectations.
Apart from this, there are the costs of certain traditional ceremonies that the couple may have to consider before they decide to move in together, start a family or get married.
Compromise across cultural lines is therefore important. And each person should be able to communicate the needs across family lines clearly so that the ceremonies that need to be observed don’t result in financial hardship or having to start their journey together facing a pile of debt because they had to fulfil obligations.
When it comes to talks around marriage, the decision between a traditional or white wedding, or both, is a big consideration. “The couple need to consider if they will have a traditional or white wedding, taking cost factors into account and being wary of accumulating debt,” says Njoba.
“Relationships can be complex: some people want to get married and others don’t. The decision has financial implications such as the financial burden that comes with planning a wedding, buying a house, et cetera. All of this needs time and financial planning.”
Throughout all the plans for traditional ceremonies and weddings, it’s always wise to know which one of you is bearing the cost and consider whether now is the right time to get married.
Settling down is a lot more than simply feeling like you’re ready. You also need to be financially ready. Therefore, it is vital to include your financial planner when you have to make big lifestyle adjustments such as moving in or getting married.
Your planner should be contacted whenever there are life events such as when you get a new job, get married, start a family, get divorced, and so on. The planner should play an active role, and a meeting once or twice a year should suffice.
For a couple who aren’t married but plan on living together, Njoba advises they consult a lawyer so they can draw up a cohabitation agreement.
“It should outline factors such as how they intend on structuring the financial side of the relationship — also what happens when they have children, the untimely death or disability of a partner and the ultimate dissolution of the relationship.”
While a couple would have to outline their own terms in a cohabitation agreement, the contract should contain clauses regarding financial matters.
Couples who live together without a contract will have no legal protection. In the event of a legal dispute, they would have to prove that the relationship was a universal partnership.