ART OF THE INSULT
Six of SA’s top comics exchange heat in the 2016 Comedy Roast Off
THABISO MHLONGO
What is the best put-down you’ve ever heard? Anything from Anthony Jeselnik. That guy is too savage.
During the roast of Donald Trump, Jeselnik said: “Donald, I’m not sure if you’re even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie Wall Street is that no one’s going to be sad when you get cancer.” Roasting is healthy because . . . You get to mess. Things. Up. Without the repercussions. You can get away with saying the meanest of things and people applaud you for it.
DAVE LEVINSOHN
What is the best put-down you’ve ever heard? Is that your head, or did your neck throw up? If you were given the perfect opening to insult any person you despise, who would that person be and what would you say to them? The art of great roasting is: never do it with any amount of hatred. It won’t work. You can only successfully roast a person whom you respect in your industry and who respects that you aren’t roasting with any malice. Having said that, I’d love to roast Jesus . . . “Be honest, did you do all that cool stuff to get babes?” Roasting is an art because . . . Not everybody has that thick skin. That is developed over years and years of emotional scars and bruises.
DILLAN OLIPHANT
Roasting is healthy because . . . It makes you re-evaluate your life and know your place in society. “Healthy” clearly means different things to me . . .
MARK BANKS
What’s the best put-down you’ve ever heard? I asked a woman once what she used for birth control and she replied, “What your mother should have used . . .” If you were given the perfect opening to insult any person you despise, who would that person be and what would you say to them? The Springbok Rugby Team — I would ask them, “When does the season start this year?”
RICHELIEU BEAUNOIR
What’s the best put-down you’ve ever heard? One of the best I’ve heard was by a little boy of about eight years old.
He and a few friends were teasing each other in a roast battle style. I was standing close by eavesdropping when the one says “Waaah waaah you’ll so poor, you’ll can’t afford a house and you’ll live in a box. On top of the box you’ll have personalised number plate with ‘OUR HOUSE—ZN’ written on it.” I almost died laughing. If you were given the perfect opening to insult any person you despise, who would that person be and what would you say to them? I’d go at my high school accounting teacher Ms Sathaar. She told me I’d never amount to anything. I always regret not firing back at her with “Of course I won’t, because my accounting teacher is terrible”. Roasting is an art because . . . You have got to be overtly observant and quick on the draw. Oh, and it’s still got to be funny.
DONOVAN GOLIATH
Roasting is an art because . . . Unlike stand-up comedy, you can’t practise this stuff. You perform the material for the first time in front of a new audience. It is also a completely different writing style. You must keep it sharp, hard and relevant so the audience always gets it. Roasting is healthy because . . . There is no malice in it. You only roast the people you love. I think it can benefit relationships with your peers.
Tickets for the show are R150 from Computicket or at the door at Parker’s on November 24. Over 18s only.
Mark Banks will battle Donovan Goliath, Dillan Oliphant will take on Thabiso Mhlongo, and Richelieu Beaunoir will attempt to take down Dave Levinsohn in the first round. Three finalists will then compete in a three-way “roast-off” in front of host and roastmaster John Vlismas