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last Tues­day. She re­minded me of the most baf­fling idio­syn­crasy of prac­ti­cally ev­ery den­tist I have ever consulted with. At some point she had her en­tire hand in­side my mouth, with some plug press­ing down on my “trou­ble­some tongue”. And then it came; “OK, which tooth did you say is painful?”

I pulled a Tham­sanqa Jan­tjie on her. My sign lan­guage is not all it should be, but I be­lieve I told her that I hope she’s cap­tured by Is­lamic State and they ex­tract all her teeth sans anaes­thetic. E-mail life­[email protected]­day­times.co.za On Twit­ter @Ndu­misoNg­cobo

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