It’s not such a merry merry Christmas
Not every Christmas special is about capturing the holiday spirit. Some are just weird, disturbing or depressing
THE NIGHT SANTA WENT CRAZY “And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye
Merry Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die!”
Surely the only way you haven’t heard this hilarious song by Weird Al Yankovic would be if you were born years after it was released. If so, look it up on YouTube. There are dozens of amateur animated music vids for it, telling the story of how Santa goes postal on his elven workforce.
THE JUNKY’S CHRISTMAS What could be better for Christmas than a stop-motion animated short . . . about a heroin addict trying to get through the holiday season when his dealer is on vacation. It was, after all, written and narrated by William S Burroughs, who made a career of writing about his experiences as an addict. He also wrote Naked Lunch, which David Cronenberg turned into a movie of the same name. That should give you some idea of what to expect.
SANTA WITH MUSCLES
Hulk Hogan was a pretty entertaining guy in the wrestling ring, but whenever he tried to act, it went horribly wrong – even more so in this perplexing holiday family facepalm fest, he plays a hedonistic entrepreneur who gets clobbered on the head and wakes up with amnesia, only to be convinced that he’s Santa Claus and needs to save an orphanage from a mad scientist. I’m not kidding. Find it and watch it if you dare, and you’ll be hoping to find a noose under the tree on Christmas morning.
SOUTH PARK: WOODLAND CRITTER CHRISTMAS
It’s South Park (season eight, episode 14), so you know it’s going to be messed up, but the way in which it’s done with a twist makes it slightly more intelligent than your average irreverent holiday spoof. Stan is convinced by a group of forest animals to help them prepare for the birth of their lord and saviour – which turns out to be the spawn of Satan and can only be stopped by abortion. Merry Christmas!
●
L