Sunday Times - - Opinion - MAMPARA OF THE WEEK

IWRITE TO HOG­A­[email protected]­DAY­TIMES.CO.ZA

Writ­ing’s on the wall

One of Hog­a­rth’s col­leagues vis­ited the King­dom af­ter hear­ing ru­mours that the Nkandla Crooner’s sup­port­ers there had not wo­ken up from the Nas­rec “night­mare”. All was con­firmed when he en­tered the ANC pro­vin­cial head­quar­ters. At re­cep­tion, vis­i­tors are greeted by a huge Sihle Zikalala por­trait. Next to that is a pic­ture of a smil­ing Nkandla Crooner. The col­league al­most broke his neck look­ing for McBuf­falo’s pic­ture on the well-dec­o­rated walls. Case closed!

De­ter­mined costs or­der

t has al­ways been a mys­tery as to why the Pipe-Smok­ing Pres­i­dent agreed to set­tle the Nkandla Crooner’s le­gal fees. This week it emerged that uBaba kaDuduzane un­leashed his lawyer Michael Hul­ley in 2008 to threaten to take Mbeki to the cleaners should he not agree to foot the bill. The Pipe-Smok­ing One had ar­gued through his lawyer that pub­lic funds had to be utilised in a “cost-ef­fec­tive and ac­count­able man­ner”. But the Nkandla Crooner, who was ANC pres­i­dent at the time, de­manded the keys to the vault. The signs were there from the be­gin­ning.

Nice try, Sis­ter

HSTTog­a­rth was amused to hear Cosatu boss “Sis­ter” S’dumo Dlamini telling a crowd on Work­ers’ Day that the fed­er­a­tion would wel­come me­tal­work­ers union Numsa back with open arms. This from a man who led the lynch mob against the largest af­fil­i­ate some three years ago. Could it be that the Sis­ter and his re­main­ing com­rades are feel­ing the fi­nan­cial pinch of that mis­guided move? It’s too late to nurse Cosatu back into health.

Supranat­u­ral pow­ers

upra, Lion of the North (West), also known as Black Je­sus, seems to be los­ing his di­vine pow­ers. His for­mer al­lies, in­clud­ing the un­grate­ful Oros, have all de­serted him. The ANC and just about ev­ery­one else in the prov­ince want to see the back of him.

Hog­a­rth sees no way out of this for Supra — his po­lit­i­cal ca­reer is about to suf­fer the fate that be­fell Shamba the Lion. But Je­sus did rise from the grave, didn’t he?

Al­lowances made

his week it was the turn of mem­bers of the Na­tional As­sem­bly to pay trib­ute to fallen he­roes Dr Zola Sk­weyiya and mother of the na­tion Win­nie Madik­ize­laMan­dela.

When DA back­bencher Stevens Mok­galapa rose to speak, he butchered his own party’s name:

“Thank you, honourable speaker, on be­half of the Demo­cratic Al­lowance, al­low me to . . .”

ANC MPs met this with shouts of “al­lowance, al­lowance”.

“All right, all right, let’s start,” re­sponded a vis­i­bly em­bar­rassed Mok­galapa as he rubbed his nose.

With MPs like this one, the Des­per­ate Al­lowance needs no en­e­mies.

Full Marx for ex­trap­o­la­tion

he Free­dom Front Plus is­sued a state­ment yes­ter­day boast­ing that a re­cent sur­vey, con­ducted by Ip­sos, showed that most South Africans re­ject so­cial­ism.

“All in all, 59% of South Africans agree that so­cial­ism is a ‘sys­tem of po­lit­i­cal op­pres­sion, mass sur­veil­lance and state ter­ror’ in com­par­i­son to the world­wide av­er­age of 48%,” reads the state­ment.

What they omit­ted from the state­ment is that in a coun­try of 56 mil­lion peo­ple, Ip­sos spoke to only 500.

The ed­i­tor fi­nally has a word

Our own rain king, Pas­tor Mboro, or­gan­ised a group of school pupils to march to the for­mer Gupta-owned Afro World­view TV chan­nel to de­mand that his show be re­in­stated. The mem­o­ran­dum was re­ceived by the new owner of the sta­tion, Not-Jimmy Manyi, who told re­porters that Mboro’s show was can­celled be­cause it did not meet his com­pany’s “ed­i­to­rial pol­icy”. Well done, Jimmy. Who knew such a pol­icy ex­isted in your neck of the woods!

S’dumo Dlamini

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