GONE LIKE A GUPTA
Chester Missing, SA’s most famous puppet, recalls the time an airline lost him and why free wifi is a big deal — with a little help from his human sidekick, Conrad Koch
HOW OFTEN DO YOU TRAVEL? Conrad: Chester:
I travel weekly, often daily, to shows. I’m a puppet. I travel in a suitcase, so even when I just go to the shops it’s technically travelling. If you think it’s creepy a puppet would go shopping, you are not alone.
YOUR EARLIEST MEMORY OF TRAVELLING ABROAD? Conrad:
My dad took me to Europe when I was a teenager.
I was lost by Air France coming back from Montreal. People laughed because my surname is Missing. The French embassy had to explain to them that they had lost a famous puppet person. It’s not my earliest memory, but it’s a silly question anyway.
Apologies for Chester’s rudeness.
Chester: Conrad: WHAT DO YOU NEED FOR A PERFECT HOLIDAY? Conrad:
beach.
Chester:
My wife, Ghia, and preferably a
Wifi. Yes, that’s all. I’m a puppet. We don’t do beaches.
FAVOURITE CITY? WHY? Conrad: Chester:
New York. It’s a cultural explosion. New York. Awesome free wifi. CONRAD KOCH & CHESTER MISSING
FAVOURITE HOLIDAY DESTINATION? WHY? Conrad:
Seychelles. Warm water, beautiful scenery.
Chester:
Mugg & Bean. Free wifi.
BEST HOLIDAY EVER? WHY? Conrad:
The first time I went to the Seychelles with my wife. Perfect everything. When Conrad left the 3G dongle in my suitcase. That data was gone like a Gupta.
Chester: MOST RELAXING DESTINATION? Conrad:
At home. We have our dogs. Or around Cape Town, because we can take our dogs.
Chester:
Still Mugg & Bean for the wifi. Why am I still answering these questions?
MOST ADVENTUROUS TRAVEL EXPERIENCE? Conrad: Chester:
When I kayaked through the Andes. He’s lying.
FAVOURITE HOTEL? Conrad:
The Maslow. It’s the right mix of awesome and affordable.
Does Mugg & Bean qualify?
Chester: BEST PIECE OF TRAVEL ADVICE? Conrad:
Book a seat at the back of the plane. Almost always more space.
Never shout: “Terrorist!”
Chester: WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT? Conrad:
El Burro in Cape Town. It has awesome Mexican food with a great atmosphere.
Mugg & Bean. Really man. We’ve covered this.
Chester: WHAT’S YOUR ONE TRAVEL ESSENTIAL? Conrad: Chester:
Bose noise-cancelling earphones. When you are a puppet, the one essential is the bag in which you can travel as hand luggage. Because Air France will lose you if you don’t.
WHERE NEXT? Conrad: Chester:
Canada for a seven-week tour. Mugg & Bean.
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LSee Missing and Koch in “Conrad Koch’s Puppet Guy” at the Pieter Toerien Studio Theatre at Montecasino, now until May 27.