Let’s Talk About Sex

I am in a new relationship and I want to be responsible and set the record straight about what I like. How do I broach the subject?

Talking with your sexual partner/s about the type of sexual contact and pleasure enhancements you plan on experiencing together will assist you in assessing the risks of sexually transmitted infections (STI) and pregnancy.

For penis-in-vagina sex, it’s really important to use a male or female condom for both STI and pregnancy and another form of contraception such as the pill, intrauterine device (IUD), patch etc. for pregnancy. This is called double/dual protection.

For anal sex, it is advisable to use a condom. A lubricant is highly recommended. For oral sex, use a condom on penis or a dental dam over the vulva or anus. The aim is to lower the risk of pregnancy and STDs.

Talking about contraception and safesex methods appropriate for you requires a frank discussion with your partner/s.

In a situation where you are only having oral or anal sex doesn’t mean you don’t have to know about contraception. And just because you’re not having penetrative sex yet, for example, doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk or prepare. STDs are a possibility with any kind of sex. Assuming that using condoms means that a partner is cheating is one of the most common misconceptions. People must use condoms because they care about themselves and each other.

● Find a time when you’re relaxed.

● Safer sex benefits all partners.

● Set the boundaries for what happens when you do not have a condom available.

● Sexual pleasure is enhanced when partners can enjoy sex and know that their consent will be respected.

● You may want to research some information together, such as who is responsible for which safe-sex solution, where to get them and who’s going to pay for your needs, both now and in the future.

This is one of the most important things you can do to negotiate the terms of your sexual experiences and manage expectations with your sexual partner/s.