HAVANA GOOD TIME IN CUBA: TOP TIPS

1 Cubans will tell you they like to dress “smart but casual”. This can mean (for him) a semitranslucent white shirt and tight white trousers; (for her) a wafty, bright-orange top covering the upper body and a minuscule pink miniskirt.

2 The customer is always wrong — or, at least, almost always irrelevant. Cuban service providers do not believe in treating consumers as gods. This is natural, since they work for the state, and for a pittance.

3 Tipping is tops — Cuba has embraced the most capitalistic practice of all — expecting the punter to pay what the employer (the government) will not.

4 Museums and memorials are not necessarily different things. Havana’s Museum of the Revolution is guarded like a shrine and even has an eternal flame outside. In Santiago de Cuba, Castro’s tomb features a changing of the guard every half-hour.

5 Locals use CUPs — national pesos. Tourists are expected to spend CUCs — convertible pesos. The former is valued at around 1/25 of the latter.

6 Forget the internet — the governmentissue internet scratch cards are a racket: they cost 1 CUC (R15) per hour, but it’s almost impossible to disconnect, so when you log on again you’ll have lost all the time you had left.

7 Forget wine — it’s overpriced and the red is usually chilled. Rum’s the “when in Rome” thing to drink here.

8 Forget potatoes and beef — there are neither. Food in Cuba is generally poor, at best. Stop by the road and stock up on mangos, soursop, even country cheeses and take them down with you in the morning. You can eat grilled fresh pargo (red snapper) and rice for as little as 3 CUC (about R45).

9 Forget rock and pop; if it’s not salsa, or son, it’s reggaeton.

10 Remember, Cubans have been living like this for 60 years.

Most can’t remember anything else.

11 Cubans are educated and engaging; language permitting, they will speak openly about human rights issues in Cuba. Don’t disrespect the Castros to anyone over 60 — or who is wearing khaki.

12 There’s no advertising, no consumerism, and you don’t see the usual US global brands like Coke, Fanta and McDonald’s.

13 In the absence of luxuries, Cubans value their social spaces, notably music venues, ice-cream parlours, coffee shops and, above all, the streets and coastal promenades.

14

The highways are almost empty and traffic is still generally slow; car hire is recommended.

15 Urban smoke pollution, despite low traffic volumes, is nasty.

16 Noise pollution is a problem too, especially in cities. Take headphones.