Twist of fate gave dumped twins chance for new life

Happy outcome for Durban babies but others not so lucky

● Twins Carla and Karin were just a few days old when they were discovered by a municipal worker in a park in Durban 20 years ago.

Six months later, they were formally adopted by a Dutch missionary couple living in SA and three months after that they flew off to their new home, near Amsterdam.

The little that is known about the circumstances of their abandonment is contained in a file made up of letters, court documents, newspaper clippings calling for family members to come forward, applications for birth certificates and passports. But most precious are their baby pictures, taken before and after they were formally adopted.

The sisters, who asked that their true identities be withheld, are fortunate to have survived being abandoned as newborns, much like the two-day-old baby who was rescued after she was spotted trapped in a storm-water drain in Durban this week.

The baby, now named Sibanisethu, meaning “Our ray of light”, was treated for mild hypothermia and is recovering well in a Durban hospital.

The twins’ father says his daughters know their life story was very hard in the beginning. “When they were little, their mom always told them about their biological mother — ‘the mother who carried you in her belly’ — and they prayed for her, together,” he said.

The twins say their parents explained that no-one knew why they had been left in the park. “Perhaps she could not take care of us herself,” they say.

“We hope that by sharing our story, it will help other children who have an unfortunate start in life. Our message to them is: ‘You have value and worth.’ ”

Carla works in a supermarket while Karin works at a home for people with disabilities.

There are mixed feelings in the family as to whether the twins should ever return to SA for a visit — whether it would cause them more pain or give them peace and a sense of closure.

They say they would like to know more about their origins, but it makes them anxious to think about it.

The attorney who handled the adoption, Debbie Wybrow, said the twins’ parents, who were permanent residents in Durban at the time, applied to the Durban high court for guardianship and custody of the girls.

“There were no obstacles. All the professionals concerned believed that placement with this family would be best for the girls. In those days, the constitutional rights of children were strongly upheld and permanent care by screened and approved parents was prioritised for parentless children.

“This is in stark contrast to the department of social development’s current stated position that, irrespective of the child’s needs or the caregiver’s suitability,

any form of care ‘within’ the child’s community of origin must be preferred to care by outsiders.”

Some activists say legislation must be reviewed if the government is serious about curbing the high rate of baby abandonment.

Child protection activist Joan van Niekerk said: “[Legislation] has made abandonment more likely, as a young person cannot consent to the adoption of their own child if they are under 18. Their parent has to consent [and] sometimes that young person feels they may be forced to keep the child.”

A national child homicide study by the Gender & Health Research Unit of the Medical Research Council, from 2016, found that a child born in SA is at the “highest risk of being killed during the first six days of its life”.

In a bid to save abandoned newborns, Door of Hope, a Johannesburg home that cares for abandoned babies, installed the first modern baby safe in 1999. Operations director Nadene Grabham told the Sunday Times that the home has had 210 babies “deposited” into its baby safe in Berea.

There are 28 safes in SA, with the majority in Johannesburg followed by Cape Town and the greater Durban area. Open Arms SA — an online help desk for pregnant girls and women who may be unable to keep their babies — also encourages the use of baby safes.

But Van Niekerk said baby safes were not always effective because of the mother’s fear of being caught out by her community. “Rather talk to young people about unexpected pregnancies and the use of organisations like Child Welfare and adoption agencies that will take those children and find homes for them,” she said.