Moving on from “hygge“to “pyt“
Take note of how you feel at the start of the day and set your intentions as a calming routine. At the end of the day find things to be grateful for
L-oad-shedding, sloth-slow Internet and gridlocked traffic. Daily irritations like these are out of our control but it’s up to us whether we spiral into a negative cycle or blackout rage. If possible, rather take a deep breath and hit “reset” — it is healthier. If the Danes are right, then this concept of “pyt” is the way to go. Voted the most popular word in Denmark last year, roughly translated pyt means “Don’t worry about it”, “stuff happens” or “oh, well”, according to Danish psychologist Marie Helweg-Larson.
Unavoidable irritations
The voters who chose “pyt” as their favourite word had motivations like: “Sometimes the best solution is just to say ‘pyt’ and move on” and “We should be better off using pyt instead of getting hung up on the little things.”
Despite dark winters, Denmark is one of the happiest nations in the world so it’s worth paying attention to their latest trend. Remember the pop psych concept “hygge”, being cosy or intimate, that went global? That came from up north too.
On “pyt”, Helweg-Larson writes: “You might shatter a glass in the kitchen, shrug and say, ‘pyt’. You might see a parking ticket lodged under your windshield wiper and, just as you become hot with anger, shake your head and murmur, ‘pyt’.”
Pyt is not about disregarding our core needs or issues, or a reason for inaction. Instead it’s about unavoidable irritations.
“At its core, it’s about accepting and resetting. It’s used as a reminder to step back and refocus rather than overreact.”
This is how it is
Psychologist Linda Kanton, co-founder of the Cape Town Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Programme, supports this approach: “Sometimes the solution is to simply step back and to bring acceptance to this is how it is. Is there a different way to embrace how it is as opposed to fighting or resisting?”
Blaming others, or yourself, in response to minor frustrations, problems or mistakes doesn’t do much except make you feel angrier and compromise your health, because your stress hormone cortisol rises. Longterm high levels of cortisone can be a risk for increased cholesterol and heart disease.
Listen to music
“Pyt” could apply to dumb stuff you have done or to annoying actions by somebody else. It can also be an expression of support for another person in a frustrating situation, said Helweg-Larson.
Cape Town psychologist Despina Learmonth said irritations could offer opportunities like “time for conversation, time to listen to music, time to just be still and ponder on the universe, or time to get thinking about creative solutions”.
Annoyances could be a chance to develop empathy and understanding for each other’s circumstances.
Take load-shedding and water scarcity. “Some people live by lamplight and wash out of buckets daily,” she says.
Learmonth says: “I have learnt some amazing facts about the cultures that exist in different parts of my city by standing in long queues at home affairs.”
Compassion for the “many other people experiencing their own irritations” can be helpful, Kantor reiterates.
Coping with stress doesn’t always come easy but practising taking deep breaths is an easy technique to try to master this, said the therapists.
“Drawing consciousness to your breath and purposefully slowing it down can leave you feeling wonderfully chilled out, and much more able to distance yourself from the irritations or setbacks at hand,” says Learmonth.
Going outdoors when you can to feel the sun on your skin or listen to birds could make a difference.
Kantor says: “The small, simple things in life often go unnoticed. Particularly when we are stressed the mind often rehashes the same story of irritation or frustration or tries to find a solution. Nature is a great healer and soother.
“Remember the daily practices that will provide a stronger foundation for stress; exercise daily, give yourself enough rest, and eat well. Find a creative outlet. Reach out for social support and enjoy your friendships,” she said. “All of these are great resources, strengthening us in times of stress.”
Kantor says noticing how you feel at the start of the day and setting your day’s intentions is a calming routine and advises finding 10 things for which you are grateful at the end of the day.
“This trains our awareness to notice the positives more. Our brains are generally hard-wired to notice and remember the negative. It is a protective mechanism, so it’s valuable to consciously develop a gratitude practice daily,” she said.
Load-shedding? Pyt!
The Danes have a pyt button for children to press, to remind them to “let go”, says Helweg-Larson. If a child loses a race, or a cuddly teddy bear, hitting it can help them.
Even adults have taken to pressing a button, fashioning their own or buying one, with the intention of learning to “pyt pyt pty” — which is, in Helweg-Larson’s words, like saying “breathe deeply, it will all be okay” in English.
“Load-shedding? It’s a perfect time to enjoy some quality time with the family or yourself,” says Kantor. “Remember that no electricity is needed to meditate and that might be a far better use of your time than getting angry and frustrated with something you cannot change.”
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