Let’s Talk About Sex
How do I talk to my teenager about sex?
Caregivers and parents need to face the reality that their teenagers are inquisitive and that some are having sex.
Research globally and locally shows that many teens are involved in penetrative sex by the time they are in high school, which means discussions on bodily functions, consent, safer sex, pregnancy and prevention of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) cannot and should not be delayed.
Be honest and compassionate
When it comes to teenagers and sex, the key is discussing these important life skills before sexual activity begins.
Gender and sexual identity should form a part of these discussions — but at the same time, assumptions about the teen’s sexuality, gender, or their personal views on sexual health and pleasure, should be minimised.
Even if you feel strongly that teenagers should postpone sex until they are more mature, adults must explain themselves and also be open to hearing the thoughts and feelings of the teenager.
If you share the reasons behind your own beliefs, and perhaps yourself show vulnerability, they may be more likely to understand your values.
Don’t forget the professionals
Understanding pregnancy-prevention methods is an important life skill for everyone, even if your teenager is a boy. It is important to remember that giving accurate information is key and that barrier protection for prevention of STIs may require a few times of practising because using a condom properly every time is a learnt skill. Consistent and correct use of condoms is the most effective way to prevent STIs.
There are a variety of prescription contraceptives suitable for teenagers, and a health-care professional will be able to advise the best option, taking into account the teen’s medical history and physical examination findings, and the lifestyle of the teen.
If you as a caregiver or parent are having difficulty in discussing any aspects of sexual health, you need to read more, link the teen to a credible resource or make an appointment with a health-care professional who is affirming. ● L S.
Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng (MBChB), sexual and reproductive health practice, Disa Clinic, safersex.co.za
E-mail your questions to lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za with SEX TALK as the subject. Anonymity is assured.