PUTTING THE BOOT INTO GENDER VIOLENCE
Just in case the patriarchy doesn’t come through, Aspasia Karras is in training
Every year, from November 25, all gender-based violence stops for 16 days. Yes — completely. Millennia of highly febrile male-on-female violent crap — storied incidents like the state-sanctioned rape of the Sabine wives (Roman stuff) to the state-sanctioned rape of the Yazidi girls (Islamic State stuff) — are put on pause. Because, you know, the patriarchy wants to give the ladies a rest. They want us to go to the Post Office in peace. They want us to date in a state of calm. To marry in safety. To celebrate Valentine’s day with a song in our heart as opposed to a bullet in our chests. For 16 days you can pee and sleep and walk and work and pick up packages in peace.
For the rest of the time, however, you need skills. Serious skills. Life-saving, kickass skills. Which is why, after the incident involving the postal scale, the rape and the murder of yet another woman, and despite the resulting mass protest action against this sort of thing, I took myself off to the Primal Gym in Rosebank, Johannesburg. Because forgive me if I don’t see any change in the status quo.
I am now in Week 10 of my self-defence project. I have no idea what will transpire if I am faced with an actual knife-, machete- or, heaven forbid, postal scale-wielding mad man intent on inflicting damage to my person. But what I do know is that I am feeling marginally better about things.
Ryan Davies, my Primal Combat &
Tactics instructor, has taught me all sorts of combat tactics, like how to dive between the knife and the shoulder blade of the criminal and take him by surprise. Surprise! Now there is a term to put some pep in your step — like Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition — because “nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise … surprise and fear … fear and surprise … Our two weapons are fear and surprise … and ruthless efficiency … Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency … and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope … Our four …no… Amongst our weapons … Amongst our weaponry … are such elements as fear, surprise … I’ll come in again.”
Yup, you get the picture. I would laugh if I wasn’t crying so much. I am serious about the training, though. And watch out anyone who tries anything round here.
Obviously there is a little more to this than the Spanish Inquisition. Part of the methodology is to internalise blocks, evasions, tactical punching and kicking. There is a form which, if you master it, is something like a cross between Tai chi and the moves Mazikeen, the earthbound demon on Netflix’s Lucifer, practises.
If I am confronted in a lift, I can now hopefully do the clever dive, clench the chap in a surprise neck brace, knee him where it counts, thrice, wind him, knock him over and sit on his back in a very convincing manner as I wait for the doors to open. Ta da!
There is also the pen. In this case it may indeed be mightier that the sword. You can use it to great neutralising effect. Primarily, though, as Ryan says, you have to get into the mind of the criminal. Which is asking a lot. But for the sake of my peace of mind during these 16 days and the 349 other days of the year, I am getting ready to rumble.