It was the thought that counted
Author Robert Louis Stevenson said “a friend is a gift you give yourself”. We say: “Not if they give you rotten, good-fornothing, no-effort gifts, they’re not.” A friend once received a bottle of gin and some jewellery from her husband — but it was an absolutely brilliant gift since what she’d asked for was cellulite cream and he’d had the smarts not to get that. Here are some of the worst gifts Sunday Times Lifestyle staffers have received:
I love to get what I think are horrible gifts for Christmas. It helps me take stock of who I am. You have to take your ego out of it. I realised this one year when I was most upset that I was given an anti-ageing face cream by my sister, but then only had to laugh as she thought it was really something I would love. It was not cheap, and I exchanged it for some lovely perfume (hope she doesn’t read this). Love you sis!
Jennifer Platt, Sunday Times Books editor
A YA novel about — get this — the crucifixion of Christ. From my granny. Smh, Ouma — you know your daughter raised heathens! Mila de Villiers, Books newsletter editor
The worst gift I ever received could well have been the best gift I ever received. Sadly it didn’t work out. It was two tickets to Miss Saigon, a show I’ve wanted to see since I was a little kid. There was a huge production in London a few years ago, and when it was announced I got so excited about it, [someone who loves me] gave me two tickets to the show. The only catch was getting to London, which seemed an outlandish expense at the time. I agonised, but in the end decided not to go. The tickets went unused, which was somehow more tragic than never having tickets at all. Elizabeth Sleith, Travel deputy editor
As a cook one takes great pride in one’s knives, so a gift of a set of brightly coloured poor-quality blunt knives seemed like carting coals to Newcastle! Or a shopbought Christmas cake, when I always make my own, well-nurtured and rich with a generous dollop of brandy, fruit and nuts. Hilary Biller, Food editor
You kinda know someone is trying to tell you something when she gives you, for Christmas, the liquid soap, shampoo and conditioner miniatures from the last hotel she stayed in, while the other daughters-in-law receive heirloom jewellery. Andrea Nagel, Lifestyle editor
Secret Santa is a hit-andmiss situation. While I have been wonderfully surprised at times and pleased in other instances, the saddest Secret Santa gift I’ve received was a very normal-sized Cadbury’s Top Deck slab. I graciously thanked my Santa and planned on devouring the entire thing later that night but it was simply so disappointing, the organiser of the Secret Santa gave me a secret “make up” gift after the event. Sanet Oberholzer, writer
Picking a worst present is kind of like looking a gift horse in the gob and telling it about its cavities. That said, the worst gift I’ve ever received is probably a re-gifted power bank from an event that a friend and I had both attended. So I ended up with two of the same power banks with the logo of some random Chinese company. Yolisa Mkele, Lifestyle journalist
An $80 Rolex watch in Vietnam (the “fake” ones were $20). The second hand fell off after a few days and then the winding spring broke. Note: real Rolexes don’t tick, nor do they need winding. Paul Ash, Travel editor
Probably a watch with a USB cable built into the strap. If you plugged it into a computer you could store things on it. While the person who gave it to me thought it was riding on the cutting-edge of cool, I saw it as an unwanted souvenir from Nerd Central. Thomas Falkiner, Motoring journalist